The Bill of Pong

Preamble

We the people of *insert home address*, in order to form a more perfect union between house and pong, and above all else, establish justice and tranquility amongst the many variations of beer pong that is played throughout many households. Thus, in an effort to promote the general welfare of the game and to secure the blessings of liberty and our posterity, we ordain and establish The Bill of Pong. Above all else, the game Beer Pong is a gentleman’s sport and should be played as such. While rules differ, the following are the ONLY valid rules in the *address* household. Complaints about the rules will be ignored, for this is the Supreme Law of our game.

Article I: Setup

Each side has ten cups, filled 1/3 with water or beer. Amidst Coronavirus concerns, water will be used in all cups at all times, and players must be sipping a drink on the side.

Starting formation is always pyramidal. Four cups in the back row, then Three, Two, and One respectively. 

Article II: Main Rules

Traditionally, games are played with a total of Four players, making up two teams of two. In more relaxed games/series’, one player may make up 1 team and shoot two balls per turn.

  • Opening: Each series will begin with “eye-to-eye,” wherein one player from each team looks the opposition in the eye, while simultaneously speaking “eye-to-eye” and on the final “eye” (without looking at the cups) throws the ball. If one player makes a cup, their team begins. If two players make a cup, the two reshoot. If neither player makes a cup, the other teammate then shoots. 
  • Pulling Cups: cups made will be pulled after both teammates have shot. If both players make a cup, those cups are then pulled and balls are returned for further shooting. i.e. balls back.
  • Reracks: 1 rerack is permitted per team each game. Valid reracks consist of 3-2-1 (6 cups), Fat Bitch (5 cups, one must be named if appropriate), Tight Pussy (4 cups, players may specify how tight they desire their pussy to be), Stoplight (3 cups) and Ultimate Fat Bitch (7 cups). Other formations must be agreed by all four players present. When there are two cups remaining, immediately after the players are done shooting, the Gentlemen formation is enacted automatically. This consists of two cups facing vertically toward the opposing team.
  • Elbows: at all times when shooting, elbows must remain behind the table. If a cup is made whilst a player has extended elbows beyond the table, the make is invalid. Close calls must be given the benefit of the doubt. An independent third party, or the player’s teammate, must confirm the violation unless it is blatant.
  • Bitch Cup: if the first cup a player makes is the center cup, men must pull down their pants and women remove their top until they make another cup.

Article III: Miscellaneous Rules

  • Fire: if a player has made two cups in a row, they proclaim “Heating Up.” Before shooting their third cup, they MUST dictate “Fire.” If a cup is made and Fire was called, the cup is pulled and they continue shooting until a cup is missed.
  • Waterfall/Traveling is bullshit, and counts only as the 1 sunk cup.
  • Same Cup: Each player has 1 “Same Cup” call per game. If called before the shot is made and it lands in the same cup as the teammate, balls are returned and Three cups are pulled. If a different cup is made than the one called, only those two cups are pulled and balls returned. 
  • Bouncing: while remarkably soft, it is valid at all times, and if made counts as two cups. The ball MUST hit the table first to be rewarded with two cups. Once the ball has hit the table it may be swatted away. 
  • Trick Shots: If a player shoots, and they regain control of the ball before it hits the floor, a trick shot must be performed. Off the roof leads to the most clout and potentially a polaroid photo on the wall. Non-dominant hand is an invalid trick shot. Trick shots made count only as One cup.
  • Island: when a cup is stranded (not connected to any other cups and NOT the last cup) an Island call may be made. An Island must be named. If the cup is called properly and sunk, it counts as two cups. If a different cup is made, NO cups are pulled. Each player has 1 call per game.
  • Bermuda Triangle: when 3 cups at the corners of the starting Pyramid or 3-2-1 formation are remaining, one may be called (i.e. center cup). If made it counts as two cups. If a different cup is made, no cups are pulled. One call per player per game maximum.
  • Death Cup: If a player makes a cup and the opposing team fails to pull it, the first time they must be made aware of its existence. Subsequent failures to pull mean the cup is designated as “death cup.” If the death cup is not pulled and is then made again, the game ends. Please note, if there is a death cup active and a team raises an inquiry about its existence, the opposing team is required to tell them whether or not there is one present, and if so which cup it is. This must be pulled immediately.
  • Spilt Cup: if a cup is knocked over and half or more liquid spills, it is removed from play.

Article IV: Ending the Game

When one team has made all 10 cups, the game is ended. In series play, winners have first shot in the next game

  • Rebuttal: If one team makes the final cup with 1 ball, the other team may shoot for rebuttal. If a cup is sunk, both makes are cancelled out. If the rebutting team makes both shots, the second cup is pulled and balls are given back for the turn to continue. Unlimited rebuttals. Rebuttal shots count toward fire. If one team makes the final cup with 2 balls, this is known as “ice” and the game has ended.
  • Wagers: if one or both players on the losing team did not make a cup, they must run nude into the ocean (this is always active, in all games). Other wagers (i.e. shots) may be placed on game/series and need be agreed by all players.

Upon completion of each game, all players must shake hands and be thankful for the fun time. All beef must be left at the table, for this is a gentlemen’s sport. By playing this game at our house, you automatically agree to all rules and stipulations. Cheers.

Jack Chorbagian

Skyler Dale