Weekend Slate VII

21 – 18

So a 2-3 Sunday is never what we’re looking for. But its getting to that time in the season where as Stu Feiner says “the dogs win.” I think we often forget that this is the NFL we’re talking about. There is no Clemson, no Alabama that will lose 2 games in 3 seasons. Upsets are about as common as Corona in this league, and sometimes you gotta sack up and take a couple Dawgs. Speaking of them dawgs… fucking finally with that mortal lock eh? The Tittsburgh Feelers are an absolute money shot and I really had a good feeling the ravens were not going to come out and play their best ball. Also, my B on the lack of a Saturday slate last week. Lets get at them pics yeah?

Oh sweet pussy SatDAY. What up Plies? We’ve got some more games to get fired up about prior to our NFL Sunday slate, so I’m just gonna go with 1 SEC, and 1 ACC jawnson for the blog and maybe sprinkle some last minute “Research guy” picks. By the way if a lot of these little quips are flying over your head, give my favorite and first ever blog “7 sports bettors everyone knows” a read, and let me know if it makes you chuckle.

UF v Georgia: UF +3

One time I was buying in for a game of blackjack and accidentally my old teammate Kaiir Elam instead of my boy Kai who was housing. This man literally intercepted my Venmo. Without even trying. Will easily pick off Stetson Bennett’s country club sounding ass. Stetson Bennett should be playing G at the club with his boys and a 30 rack of natty. He’s not built for Kai and the Gator D.

Pitt v FSU: FSU -2

Now. The man who threw the ball to Kaiir in highschool has been starting since the guy who has been on FSU for what feels like 10 fucking years sucked. He hammered Jax St. and the Noles were looking up until this pounding from Louisville last week. I like them in this mids ACC matchup.

Everyone’s real favorite day of the week. Looking for chirps from college football nerds. We got our MORTAL LOCK coming through, and we go on the heater baby! The Packers were such easy money on Thursday. Obviously Jimmy and George going down was a factor but the Pack were covering that.

Dolphins v Cardinals: PHINS+4.5

I just really like betting on the Dolphins this year. I really feel like their defense has stepped up in a different way. Who they want under center is the question, and I think its really funny how all the dolphin fans want Tua, and all the non Dolphin fans want more Fitzmagic. I definetly fall into the non Dolphin fan category but we are taking them boys anyways.

Saints v Bucs: Saints +4.5

THE LAST DREW BREES V TOM BRADY MATCHUP OF ALL TIME. I am so fired up. These guys have been starting in the NFL since Sam Darold was in Diapers. I just always pick the Saints. I just love watching them and the Seahawks play so much. You have to just root for players and other teams when you’re a Giants fan. Alvin, Demario Davis, Janoris Jenkins, Marshon Lattimore… maybe the best wide receiver in the NFL will even decide to play again.

Ravens v Colts: Ravens +1 MORTAL LOCK

Why is this the scariest game on the slate. It actually makes me angry. Like the Colts have actually proven that they are absolute dog shit. WHO CARES IF THEY BLEW OUT THE LIONS. THEY LOST TO THE JAGS AND BROWNS. Do you want to know why the Colts are 5-2? Viking, Jets, Bears, Bengals, Lions. I’ll be so angry if their defense just shoves this up my ass and Lamar continues to ruin his career.

Locking all these teams in a lay is gonna feel so bad when it doesn’t work. Sorry if there are typos late Friday slap boys!