“I wanna kill the shit out of that thing,” is, presumably, not a thought you’ve ever had about an animal named something like “Pedals.” Even if you have, it was probably at least some neighbor’s asshole cat. The kind that walks up acting friendly but, as soon as you reach down to pet it, it hisses at you, terrified, like you’re possessed by a demon, before gashing your hand with the claws it had just used to play with its own shit and running off. And, as you go back inside to boil your hand in Purell before the feline feces now firmly embedded in your dermis can rot your arm off, you realize the selfish bastard was only “saying hi” so it could jizz its scent all over you to let every other cat in the world know that you are its slave. Even then, at worst you’d maybe not swerve out of the way if it were lounging in your driveway. You definitely wouldn’t be planning to pin kitty to a tree trunk with a composite bow.
Not everyone is as well-adjusted as you and me, though. Take for example, this unnamed New Jersey hunter, who, during the state’s weeklong legal bear hunting season, set out to finally accomplish his dream of killing Pedals the upright walking bear, a beloved fixture in suburban New Jersey and, objectively, an adorable creature. Just look at this video.
No seriously, according to National Geographic this guy was like, “lol I’m gonna kill that bear everybody likes.”
The hunter boasted of having shot Pedals and said he had been targeting the famous bear for some time.
If New Jersey’s bear hunting season was two weeks later there’s a good chance this lunatic puts an arrow into the chest of a drunk guy in a bear costume who went outside during a Halloween party to take a leak behind a tree because the bathroom line was too long.
The good news is, it gets creepier.
The male American black bear had an injury that prevented him from walking on all fours.
The bear was also disabled. This deranged suburban bowman plotted to kill a sweet, disabled bear named Pedals that was loved by pretty much everyone who knew about it. With an arrow. There’s no way people let kids around this guy. Trolling a community by shooting animals with arrows isn’t not a serial killer move.
And don’t get me wrong, I’ve only been hunting once but I enjoyed it. I would gladly off a buck, or even Bambi’s mom (I love venison). Or, better yet, one of the 300 pound shit monster wild hogs that wander the countryside ruining crops. But everything about killing this bear was either sadistic or creepy. I wouldn’t blame the local police for keeping him in mind if a high school cheerleader goes missing.
If you’re going to kill something that looks like it belongs in the circus, make it one of the sickos wandering out of the woods dressed like a clown..
[via National Geographic]
Image via Shutterstock