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Police arrived at the unofficial Pi Kappa Phi fraternity house at SUNY Albany to break up a party at 3:20 AM and met some resistance when one of the Pi Kapps decided to fight for his right to party in a mannerr that surely involved few, if any, fucks given.
As officers sought to “quell the disturbance,” Noah McCall, 19, “urinated off the rear staircase directly onto a uniformed police officer,” police noted. McCall’s urine fell “onto the head and face” of a cop, who subsequently received treatment at a local hospital for “bodily fluid exposure,” according to an arrest report.
Officers quickly arrested McCall, charging bravely against the stream to subdue to golden showering assailant, who presumably found out pretty quickly how difficult it is to run away with your dick flapping around outside your pants, while you’re peeing all over yourself.
The SUNY Albany Pi Kapp chapter is not recognized by the school thanks to some hazing allegations in years prior, which begs the question, “If this is what they do to police officers, then what in God’s name do they do to their pledges?”
While peeing on a cop is pretty funny, where McCall soiled this officer’s face was NOT the time or place to do it. The only way you’re getting away with taking a piss on a cop at a party is if you’re in the middle of some Project X, We Don’t Care If Joe Paterno Covered Up A Dozen Child Rapes We Love Him Anyway riot, wherein an angry mob is building Ukrainian protest-style barricades out of Natty can filled trash bags and tire fires from the wheels of mopeds and GDI bicycles. You need AT LEAST that much separation to stop a cop from immediately busting your ass for that.
McCall was charged with reckless assault and released from custody following arraignment in the Albany City Criminal Court. That must have been a fun arraignment. In other news, McCall can now honestly drink when prompted with the phrase, “Never have I ever given a golden shower,” and proceed to tell the greatest story ever.
[via The Smoking Gun]