When it comes to certain important world events, everybody remembers where they were when they heard the news. On 9/11, I was on the bus to elementary school when I heard an announcement on the radio that a plane had crashed into one of the Twin Towers. When we killed Osama, I was a senior in high school studying for my math IB exam. And when Ruben Studdard was wrongly declared the winner of American Idol Season Two, I was in my living room bawling my eyes out while my dad punched a ton of holes in our television. #TeamClayAiken
When I heard that there was a Pike at the University of Tennessee being hospitalized for buttchugging wine, I was sitting in my apartment reading TFM. It was before I became a contributor, back when I was a philistine who wasn’t getting paid and was getting on Fail Friday every week with posts like “Getting ‘milk my neighbor’s pregnant labrador retriever’ drunk. It’s a TFM.” I don’t know why that’s a fail because it seems it’s pretty fucking frat to me, but I digress.
I remember reading Bacon’s article and saying to my roommate, SagerTits, “This is hilarious. I’ve got to try this… You know, satirically. Like I’m going to try it as a joke. To be funny.” I’m pretty sure I fooled SagerTits with my masterful oratory lying skills. Obviously, I wanted to try this for real. I mean, this kid clocked in at over a 0.40 BAC. I’m so TFTC that I can barely stomach a beer. Hell, when I’m peer pressured to take shots I throw the alcohol over my shoulder into a strategically placed ficus plant like you see in the movies. I’m always looking for cool new ways to get drunk without having to drink. I also am a man who thoroughly enjoys prostate exams, so I thought this seemed like a great new thing for me to try. I was too shy and bashful to go for it last year, but I declared this summer the summer of #YOLO, and decided that when I got back to school in the fall I was going to go for it. That was until I saw the possible repercussions.
From Knox News:
A 20-something college graduate will soon move into the Phi Sigma Kappa house on the University of Tennessee campus as its first house director in over a decade. The Interfraternity Council raised the grade point average requirement for members to 2.75. And all advisers and housing corporations are working together to hire extra weekend security in Fraternity Park. Some of the changes are part of sweeping recommendations made in March by a University of Tennessee greek life task force. Others are initiatives from the fraternities themselves as alumni push to shift both the culture of the young men who live in the houses and the public perception of them after the hospitalization of 20-year-old Pi Kappa Alpha brother last fall… As part of the task force recommendations, the university is also requiring all fraternities to have a live-in house director by fall 2014.
Buttchugging. Not even once.
In all seriousness, this is one of the biggest overreactions I have ever seen. Possibly one idiot, and at MOST one small group of idiots, thought it was a good idea to anally ingest wine. They also happened to be in a fraternity. The two are in no way related, yet now all fraternities are being punished for their mistake.
First UT punished PIKE. They did not just kick off those Pi Kappa Alpha brothers involved in the buttchugging fiasco; no, they kicked off the entire fraternity. Even that can be seen as an overreaction. Now, months after the group that caused the problem has been gone, UT decides to punish people who had nothing to do at all with the incident, just because they, too, happen to be in fraternities. Ridiculous.
University of Tennessee task force, did you ever stop and consider that it isn’t the concept of a fraternity’s fault that this isolated incident occurred, but merely a bad combination of one wisenheimer, peer pressure, and a mild predisposition to ass play?
Who would’ve thought that one Pike’s buttchug could lead to such a Greek life buttfuck?
[via Knox News]
Image via Skreened.com