It’s been a year since I’ve checked in on the Golden Tee front. Since then, I got me some new duds and a cigar that never burns down. I’ve kept my game tight and my confidence unwavering. I talked a fair amount of shit about my game a year ago, including sharing videos of some of my spectacular shots and calling the challenger out who lost to me by 45 strokes while putting $50 in my pocket.
I also put my coworkers on blast and fired a shot at one of the game’s best. The centric theme was my quest for the big time. It turns out I’m not ready for the pro circuit, nor do I have time to chase that dream, but I still want to put a little money in my pocket, and give you all the opportunity to take mine and put it into yours.
Before I lay out the offer, it’s only fair that I show you what you’re up against. The below four clips make up a small sampling of my game over the last year. These highlights come from a plethora of hole outs and holes-in-one. Let’s take a look.
Nothing special here, just a hole-in-one on a 134-yard par 3 with slight wind:
This one was more difficult, a 189-yard par 3 with a strong crosswind and a green that breaks away from the tee box. Aced it:
Here’s one of my all-time favorites, a 249-yard par 3 hole-in-one into a very strong crosswind that touches nothing but cup:
I won’t lie about this next one. I thought it was headed for lava. The wind held it up just enough to hit the short grass, then it tightropes along the edge and finds the cup. That’s a 307-yard ace on a par 4:
I’m good, real good, as I imagine a few of you are.
If you feel you’re capable of beating me, the TFM Headquarters three-year reigning Golden Tee champion, I will accept an 18-hole matchup against you. It’ll cost you to get through the door, however, and only after a preliminary vetting process to make sure you don’t bring a shiv in with you. We just received the 2015 update, and it…is…sexy.
We’ll bet between $50 and $100 on the round, your choice. My turf only. My email is below if you’re inclined to book me. Serious inquiries only.
If you’d like to log some practice hours before challenging me, or if you’re simply ready to be the proud owner of the greatest barroom game we’ve ever known, take advantage of Golden Tee’s current Holiday Sale: $300 off the price of a Golden Tee Home Edition until December 25, plus free shipping. They are also willing to take an additional $100 off ($400 off total) for TFM readers.