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Power Ranking The Letters Of The Greek Alphabet

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greek letters

For most of us, there are two or three Greek letters that we hold above all others. If we take a step back and look at the Greek alphabet holistically, though, where do they all match up to each other? Let’s find out.

  1. Beta (B) – It’s in the name.
  2. Delta (Δ) – Used as the symbol for “change.” Probably voted for Obama. Liberal trash.
  3. Eta (H) – Arguably the most useless letter in the Greek alphabet. When have you ever used eta? Most people just think it’s the English letter “h.” I pity everyone unfortunate enough to be a member of their fraternity’s eta pledge class.
  4. Xi (Ξ) – “Zee? Zi?” If 95% of people don’t know what to call you, you’re gonna rank pretty low on this list.
  5. Omega (Ω) – Omega is this low solely because of those unbearable Rory McIlroy Omega watch commercials that played every 30 seconds this PGA Tour season.
  6. Upsilon (Υ) – “Wait… did you say epsilon?
  7. Rho (P) – Rho? Yeah… You’re just just a “p,” my dude.
  8. Omicron (O) – Omicron just feels lazy to me.
  9. Nu (N) – Nu should probably find a “nu” letter to represent itself. BOOORINGGGG.
  10. Mu (M) – As boring as Nu, but not as easy to make an insulting pun with.
  11. Zeta (Z) – Thanks to the sorority, instantly brings to mind hot girls.
  12. Kappa (K) – Same as Zeta.
  13. Pi (Π) – An otherwise top-tier letter that suffers from having the same name as a baked good.
  14. Iota (I) – Can be represented with a middle finger. Frat.
  15. Chi (X) – Put three Chis together and you’ve got yourself a nice little Friday night alone planned.
  16. Tau (T) – A letter that’ll get the chicks to whip out their tau taus.
  17. Phi (Φ) – An important letter to the fraternity system that also happens to kinda look like you’re hitting a chick from behind.
  18. Lambda (Λ) – Lambda’s tent is permanently pitched, that sailor.
  19. Sigma (Σ) – The letter that comes to mind when you think “Greek letter.”
  20. Theta (Θ) – Kinda looks like a butthole?
  21. Gamma (Γ) – Gamma goes dick out for the chicks 24/7 and doesn’t give a fuck.
  22. Epsilon (E) – Upsilon’s cool older brother. Probably the coolest-sounding Greek letter.
  23. Psi (Ψ) – It’s an iota that’s flexing its biceps. Power move.
  24. Alpha (A) – Like I said: it’s in the name.

If you really love the Greek alphabet, you’ll conquer Greek God, our version of the 2048 puzzle challenge.

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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