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The Princeton Review, arbitrary ranker of all things useless, has named their top ten least studious universities in the country and the list has a distinctly southern flavor. That flavor, in case you’re wondering, has a sort of smoky, papery aftertaste, as it was crafted over the flames of burning books.
Coming in at number one is the University of Alabama, ranked atop the polls in both football and apparently illiteracy as well. But to be fair, the Alabama students want to read, Nick Saban just won’t let them. Why? I don’t know, because he’s a dick? Also making an appearance is Ole Miss, a school that is not good at football, so what the fuck’s your excuse? Just kidding, I’d never leave the Grove either.
There are a few random appearances on the list as well, like the University of North Dakota. I guess their inclusion is understandable. I mean, why study when North Dakota has all that wonderful nothing to offer? The City University of New York – Baruch College, is also on the list. I literally know nothing about this school. Not only do I know nothing about this school, but I do not care to know anything about it, so I’ll just make a sweeping generalization about how the hipsters there are shunning their studies because college diplomas are so 90’s (they really are though).
The full list below:
1. University of Alabama
2. University of North Dakota
3. West Virginia University
4. City University of New York- Baruch College
5. University of Mississippi
6. University of Maryland – College Park
7. Florida State University
8. University of Iowa
9. James Madison University
10. University of Alabama – Birmingham