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Random People Admit To The Thoughts That Flow Through Their Minds During Sex

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Everybody has some go-to thoughts during sex.

Don’t want to blow? Think about grandma’s cold lifeless corpse lying in that open casket as hundreds of elderly people waddle by to pay their respects. Ready to blow? Think about Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift 69ing in a tub of gummy bears right front of you. (Yeah, I have a weird thing going on.)

But don’t take it from me. Tons of random internet users, guys and girls alike, shared what they think about while they are having sex. Here are some of the best responses.

From Reddit:

Don’t do it… don’t do it… don’t do it… OOPS.

You always think you got time…


Simple man.

When I’m doing it right not a damned thing. One of the most pleasurable aspects of sex is that I can bury my self in sensation and feeling without having to think. Nothing like a good animalistic fuck to knock out endless ruminating. It’s like a sweaty, sticky meditation when I’m in the groove.

Were all just animals anyway.

Usually along the lines of:

Damn this feels good… I wonder if he notices my smooshy bits jiggling… Why do my boobs move so much during sex… Ooh he had really nice shoulders… And hair, imma play with his hair… What does that face mean… Is it a good face… Okay I think it’s a good face… Damn I wish he would make noise during sex… So close… Okay I’m done, that was great.. Now when will he be done.. It’s taking ages maybe I’m going something wrong… Okay no, he’s done… Awesome

Nothing gets me going like some smooshy bits jiggling.

I mostly wonder how much longer I’ll last for.

Push it, push it. To the limit, limit. Cuz’ were in it to win it, in it to win it, yaaaaa. (Name that TV movie. I know you can, you weirdos.)

“Why is she letting me do this to her?”

This isn’t right. This is disgusting!

“NO! I do NOT need to fart!”

One of man’s greatest struggles.

Is this for real? This is great. People would pay this guy. I would pay this guy. I feel like I owe this guy $100 dollars. He could be a rich gigolo. Nah, that’d be gross, I want to be the only girl this guy fucks. I’ll make him a carrot cake. A BLT!! I love him. Is this real life? I didn’t know anything on earth could feel so wonderful. HOL-EE FUCKKK
usually something like that.

Guys don’t eat carrot cake.

“I’ve still got so much to do in Fallout 4.”

…but this is a good tenfive minute break.

Bernie Sanders and Donald J. Trump performing an unabridged performance of The Pirates of Penzance

Just typing that gets me ROCK HARD.

I just try to remind myself to show some fucking passion. Makes things way more fun.

Meh. Passionate sex is overrated.

“I took my socks off for this?”

“I better be getting some toe-sucking, at least.”

I worry if the bed starts squeaking, don’t really want the family listening.


‘God I wish he’d say something, why isn’t he saying anything, what’s wrong with me’. My boyfriend is so silent during sex, he says he’s always been like that, but it makes me feel insecure. I’d love just a bit of dirty talk or a moan, the funny thing is if I’m quiet for too long he will stop and ask what’s wrong!

Sounds like you’re dating a pyschopath.

If I’m trying to last a little longer I usually think about my wife.

I see what you did there.

Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!

That would just make me hog wild.

“Am I even attractive” “Are my boobs even bouncing when I’m on top? No? Great. Oh good, he’s turning me around. Atleast he’ll have something good to look at now.”

Aw, this one made me really sad.



“Don’t wake up”


I don’t know why but I always think about the second season of Dexter. A lot of pretty intense shit went down.

I sometimes think about Fargo (the TV series). But that’s a topic for another day.

I think about paying taxes if I’m trying not to climax.

A true disciple of Reagan.

That one time back in ‘Nam


This feels so fucking good.

So true.

Ray ‘Motherfucking’ Allen.
He’s my savior for when i want to last longer. I mean think about it. I do. I think about how he shoot his threes fast and pretty smooth. Or i think about that shot he hit for the heat in the finals.
Then if it didn’t work, i try to remember his jersey number when he played for the heat, drives me crazy to not remember.
… I feel i shared too much.

This is actually a solid strategy.

Schindler’s List


your mom

/end thread.

To read more of this thread and some of the awesome replies, click HERE.

[via Reddit]

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