I was a real estate major first semester freshman year, which uniquely qualifies me to give you the lowdown on a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity hitting the market any day now. Own the home behind the man behind the scandal — Rick Pitino’s lavish Louisville mansion on
Laughingstock Mockingbird Gardens Drive. After the FBI’s investigation into his shady dealings with Adidas and his subsequent firing from the University of Louisville, the Courier-Journal is reporting that Rick Pitino does indeed intend to sell his upscale Kentucky home.
This news is exciting for local socialites who would jump at the chance to own a home in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in the Bluegrass region. Details about the property on Mockingbird Gardens Drive remain a mystery, as very few people have been allotted access to the home as of yet. Lucky for y’all, I contacted my Rolodex of fellow real estate insiders (yes, I still use a Rolodex — FOH) and was able to gain TFM a special peek at what lies inside via an anonymous source.
Upon entering the 5,100-square-foot home, you are immediately met with an open floor plan and vaulted ceilings. Our source described it as a homey vibe, highlighted by shag carpeting that he articulated was “straight out of Austin Powers” and a maid who looks like she’s seen some shit.
The kitchen has granite countertops and the newest stainless steel appliances, while the living room has a full-service wet bar stocked with the best bourbon and rubbers Kentucky has to offer.
Head upstairs and you’re greeted with five spacious bedrooms. The master suite is the crown jewel of the upper level. It includes more vaulted ceilings, a balcony, and a circular rotating bed described again as, “straight out of Austin Powers.” There is also an antique volcanic sand-filled hourglass on the bedside table that we’re told will come with the house. Not sure why, but our source said the hourglass times out to around 15 seconds.
Venture into the master bath to find his-and-her sinks and a walk-in closet, both carrying the distinct scent of popular 1980s cologne Drakkar Noir.
The basement level is by far the most luxurious part of the house. At the bottom of the stairs, guests are greeted with a giant neon sign that reads “Recruiting Zone” in big, red letters. Take a left and you will hit the film room (type of film not specified), while a right leads to a large common area. This common area features multiple large screen TVs, pool tables, ping pong, and retro game favorites like Ms. Pac-Man, Frogger, and Pin The Dick In The Glory Hole.
Off the back of this room is an unassuming door that leads to the best part of the house. Tucked away — almost like it was meant to be hidden — is a 1,000-square-foot nightclub. It includes a fully-stocked bar area, dance floor, and exotic dancer poles draped in a banner that reads “Professionals Only.” Pitino reportedly had the addition built in 2007 after seeing something similar on an episode of MTV Cribs featuring 50 Cent.
Finally, the house is capped off by an in-ground heated pool and outdoor patio.
No listing price has yet been disclosed, but we hope you have sportswear bribe money because this place won’t come cheap..
Image via Google Maps