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Rice’s Band Mercilessly Trolls Baylor Over Sexual Assault Scandal During Halftime

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Rice is mostly renowned for being an academic school. Their football team, especially by Texas standards, is middling at best. Still, the Owls have a trump card up their sleeve that comes in the form of their Marching Owls Band (MOB for short) who have classified themselves as a “parody of a college marching band.” The MOB has taken more shots at their opponents’ misdeeds than a Zeta at her 21st birthday party. Last night, when the Owls took on the notorious Baylor Bears, was no exception. In case you forgot, Baylor got into a whole ton of trouble over the past year for some very serious charges. With Art Briles himself in attendance and the team hanging on to a prayer, the Marching Owls decided to send a message to BU. Briles left after halftime, and gotta think this is a reason why.

I know, there’s no sound. So very sorry for your lack of daily sousaphone, people. If you’re confused as to what’s going on, Rice’s MOB replicated a “IX” as a knock to Baylor’s total disregard for their vehement treatment of recent sexual assaults, followed by a well-made star as a knock on former president/chancellor Ken Starr. Somehow, in all the mild mannered ruckus, Rice ended up being the bad guys. Tweeters popped off over Rice’s apparent “joke” about the gravity of sexual assault and how some things are too taboo to promote a discourse about.

Let me answer that question for you, Brady old boy. It’s really easy to think that Rice was just cracking a big joke about an in-state opponent’s lack of moral students. However, anyone who thinks that show was a shot at the victims is off their rocker. It was, without a doubt, a take on the absolutely horrendous way Baylor handled the entire situation. Sure, the fans can boo, but it doesn’t change a damn thing about just how awful they should feel about their school.

Honestly, it’s refreshing to see a team’s band ready to run off the plug on someone. Sure, borderline interpretive dance isn’t the best means of calling someone out, but it definitely made “Stomp the Yard” more interesting. I want to see the Wolfpack of NC State script out a four syllable word and make UNC’s team spell it. I want to see Miami move into a crab leg formation. I want to see Ohio State ditch the script Ohio for one game and create a massive middle finger directed at the NCAA as a whole.

For all the people that are red in the face about school spirit, I hope you do too. It’s a means of letting the folks in attendance know that you’re better than them, whether it’s on the field or in the stands. This variation on MOB rule is one I can get behind and, for once, I’m totally backing the nerds. Let it rip Rice. You’ll be making more than the rest of us in five years anyway.

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in Eastern NC where he spends his time roasting pigs and attempting to grow a beard. Karl enjoys drinking on elevated surfaces and rapping on podcasts.

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