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Ryan Lochte Tore His MCL While Catching An Excited Female Fan

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Ryan Lochte gets all the women. Sometimes, those women get a little too excited. While the average celebrity expects to be mobbed, ganged up on and potentially even chased, I think tearing an MCL dealing with a fan is a new one. Apparently, the teenage girl in question decided she was going to bum rush Ryan like he was a wounded deer and she was a hungry honey badger.

Now I’m sure we’ve all had our fair share of “excited female” related injuries, but a torn MCL and sprained ACL is pretty bad for a single encounter. There’s no word on what caused her to rush him. She probably just wanted some impromptu breast stroke lessons. Injury aside, he managed to catch her before falling over and hitting his knee on the sidewalk, so that’s pretty impressive. In his off time, he could probably do whatever sport requires the same skill set as catching a crazed teenage fan. Hurling? One of those Iron Man competitions? I’m not sure, but maybe it’ll help him get back in the pool faster.

The girl was unharmed in this encounter, though she did kind of put one of her idols on recovery for 6-8 weeks, so there’s that. I anticipate a follow up story where the two of them go on a date and it leads to a poorly acted romantic comedy with a pun about swimming in the title. It would probably something like: Ryan Lochte and the Crazed Female Fan in: All Wet.

Best wishes to Lochte on his recovery though, he makes this country look damn good in the summer Olympics, which is one of our few chances to dominate the world in ways that don’t involve military ass-kicking. I’m going to recommend, in the future, that he keep a posse of angsty teenage dudes wearing cheap body spray as his crew. That should drive off any kamikaze girls looking to get too close for comfort.

[via USA Today]

Image via Socialite Life


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Scientist, internet comedian, future supervillain. I still refuse to believe I've graduated college.

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