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Science Figured Out At What Age Hangovers Are The Worst

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Hangovers are the bane of my existence. Granted, I feel stupid complaining about them since they’re a completely avoidable bane of my existence, but, they’re also kind of not. If the only surefire way to not be hungover is to not drink, then it looks like I’m going to be spending at least three mornings a week hating life, crapping water, and wishing for the sweet release of death as I try to figure out the best place to nap.

While drinking in college is the zenith of most people’s consumption, the sheer volume of alcohol imbibed does not necessarily guarantee the worst hangovers. The sad truth is, younger people don’t have as bad of hangovers as older people do. Really, this is bullshit. College kids have, what, three to four hours of actual responsibility a day? Six tops. Even if they are busy all day, what they’re doing isn’t that important. They aren’t supporting their ability to live, they’re just going to school. You can coast through most of that crap. Meanwhile, out in the real world, hangovers are infinitely worse, and have to be suffered through while tending to actual responsibilities, like work and children and other stuff. Life isn’t fair.

The fact that science, which I generally like to picture as some singular, detached, vague entity that studies everything from erections to nuclear physics in one location (CERN?), recently pinpointed 29 years old as the worst year of life for hangovers, is horrible news. I’m not 29 yet, and my hangovers are already awful. The fact that they’re only going to get worse is terrifying.

…if you’re on the cusp of your 30s the comedown will last ten hours and 24 minutes – nearly an hour longer than the average.

Oh God. Mine are already at least 10 hours. Does that mean they’re going to get longer, or I’ve already peaked? If it’s the former I honestly might quit drinking. Just kidding, but that’s going to be awful.

So enjoy your relatively mild hangovers now, you college bastards, because one day you’re going to be sitting at a desk in an office instead of a desk in a lecture hall, and skipping isn’t tolerated, even if you try to take a sick day. SICK IS SICK, dammit! It doesn’t matter if it’s self inflicted.

The research also found one in ten people posted something on Facebook they regretted the morning after

Well, it’s nice to see that some things get better after college, because I’m pretty sure in school it’d be more like seven out of ten people.

[via Metro]


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