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Scientists Create Sober-Up Pill

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There is nothing worse than getting shitfaced drunk and realizing that there’s something you need to do that requires you to sober up. Whether you need to drive to the airport to pick up grandma, interview for a promising job, or perform surgery, you’re pretty much just stuck waiting for your body to process the alcohol at its own pace.

The good news is that those days may soon be a thing of the past. And no, I’m not talking about those bullshit sober-up myths we’ve all heard about (all coffee does when I’m wasted is turn me into an especially active drunk and exponentially worsen my morning-after shits).

What I’m talking about is the “sober-up pill.” That’s right, in a move that damn near almost makes me respect nerds, scientists have developed a pill which may revolutionize the world in a way we haven’t seen since “the pill” came out for birth control.

Researchers have reduced blood alcohol levels in intoxicated mice by injecting them with nanocapsules containing enzymes that are instrumental in alcohol metabolism. The treatment demonstrates a novel drug delivery technology that could have broad medical applications.

Yeah, this definitely has “broad medical applications.” Only if you count allowing me to essentially play God with my own sobriety and reducing my risk of a hangover to nothing as broad medical applications.

To demonstrate the efficacy of the delivery method, the researchers injected the mice with capsules containing two enzymes.

The researchers report that the mice receiving the enzyme treatment saw their blood alcohol content fall quickly and significantly compared with controls.

Ignoring exactly how much I want to see the test subject mouse sober up immediately and look at his tiny, mouse cell-phone with a look of shame and regret, how fucking cool is that?

So how exactly does it work? Well, according to Yunfeng Lu, a professor of chemical and biomolecular engineering at UCLA:

Since alcohol metabolism naturally occurs in the liver, it would “almost be like having millions of liver cell units inside your stomach or in your intestine, helping you to digest alcohol,” he says.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve trained my liver good and hard over the last several years, but sometimes he just can’t hang. I’m tired of pretending to regret texts I sent when I was blackout drunk. It wasn’t my fault, it was my liver’s lackluster performance that night. This sounds like it’s giving my liver a million little sidekicks to do his job for him.

So keep up the good work Dr. Yunfeng. Your parents may not be proud of you for spending your time getting mice drunk, but dammit, I am.

[via Technology Review]


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