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Men Are Now Inflating Their Saggy, Wilted Balls With Scrotox — Botox For Balls

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A new surgical trend is taking the male population by… storm (I couldn’t do it, it was too easy). For around $3K, men are inflating their saggy, wrinkled nards with scrotum botox, or scrotox. Some men do it for cosmetic purposes. Some are athletes looking to decrease drag (seriously — Michael Phelps, if you come out of retirement and you’re looking to stay in peak form well into your 30s and 40s, this is the procedure for you).

But injecting neurotoxin directly into your yam bag has its risks.

From Metro:

Mark Norfolk, Clinical Director at Transform tells ‘Over the past year, requests for scrotum Botox have doubled at Transform showing the huge demand and interest for this procedure.’

But it’s not one that they offer due to the ‘possible risks and complications associated with treating this part of the body’.

But why?, I hear you scream.

Scrotox is supposed to do three things:

1. Decrease sweating
Mark does confirm that injecting Botox into the scrotum may help with any sweating issues…

2. Reduce wrinkles
But, he explains, it ‘won’t have much of an effect on wrinkles as there is lots of loose skin on this part of the body that an injectable treatment just can’t shift.
So if you want to get rid of your excess skin, you’re better off getting a proper nip ‘n’ tuck.

3. Make the scrotum appear larger due to muscles relaxing
My money’s on this one being the reason anyone would choose to have scrotox. But it’s doubtful the size of your balls affects anyone except you.

I get it. I really do. Chicks dig a juicy set of balls. There are pretty much four types of guys. Arms guys. Face guys. Hair guys. And ball guys.

I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve never been a ball guy. Allow me to paint the picture for you. Growing up, my neighbors had two wrinkly pugs. One hogged all the food and got fat. The other was shriveled and small. This is what my balls look like.

So it’s no surprise men are turning to scrotox at an alarming rate. I blame society for putting such an emphasis on the appearance of a man’s balls. Everywhere we look — billboards, television, the fruit aisle at the grocery store — we are bombarded with images of impossibly perfect balls. And everyday, a man suffers in silence, too ashamed to so much as tea bag a passed out friend. Even the strongest of men can develop of case of Testicular Dysmorphia. It’s a goddamn national tragedy I tell ya.

That’s why it is time for us, as men, to grow a pair and denounce this trend wholeheartedly. To take a stand for ball acceptance. Our balls are just fine the way they are, my dudes. Sweaty, hairy, lopsided, and perfectly imperfect — just like the person they hang from.

Love yourself. Love your balls. TFM.

[via Metro]

Image via Shutterstock, Giphy

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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