Steven Hauschka is one of the best kickers in the NFL, but he’s apparently kind of a pushover. This pains me deeply to say, as we both graduated from the same high school and he’s a close personal friend (of a friend), but it’s true. Apparently his name isn’t “Steven;” it’s actually “Stephen.” He’s just gone NINE years in the NFL without correcting anybody.
Here’s your weird sports of the day: Everyone has been spelling Steven Hauschka’s name wrong for his entire NFL career.
KCPQ-TV in Seattle was doing a segment with the Seahawks kicker when producer Dusty Lane double-checked the spelling of Hauschka’s last name. However, as Lane tells it, he should’ve been checking the first. A photographer checked with Hauschka and learned that the kicker’s first name actually is spelled “Stephen” rather than “Steven.”
“There was a little mix-up in college,” Hauschka said, per Lane. So why didn’t the Needham, Mass., native correct anyone until his ninth season in the league? “Uh … I just like to go by Steve,” Hauschka said. Fair enough.
This is kind of a cuck move, huh? Like, you couldn’t just casually go to the team media rep and have someone make a change? Bruins schmuck Brad Marchand had a press release regarding the pronunciation of his name, and that’s way less important than the spelling. So Steve, it’s just a huge puss move to never say anything about it. You’re being too nice if you’re going through life with an inaccurate Seahawks player page.
He’s also potentially being too fast and loose with his financial security. What was the name on Hauschka’s recently signed $9.15 million contract? I know I only got my law degree from Subway University (Go Footlongs!), but that contract is all kinds of suspect if Hauschka’s name is wrong on it. Do the Seahawks know about this? They have to, right? This could be a huge gift for the ‘hawks. If the name on his contract is “Steven” rather than “Stephen,” and Hauschka misses a few chip shots, Seattle can just void the contract, say that the money is really for “Steven,” not “Stephen,” wipe their hands of Hauschka and sign wife beater Josh Brown. Head on a swivel, Steve..
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