There is nothing shameful about paying for sex. We’ve all done it. Whether we paid directly or indirectly, sex comes at a cost — and sometimes that cost is steep.
So why would you not get the most bang for your buck? These guys sure tried. Here are some of the most absurd and disgusting requests people paying for sex have asked of their sex employee courtesy of the good people at Reddit dot cum (get it? Haha. Steve Holt makes Steve Holt laugh).
He wanted me to do his taxes with no pants on. 300/ hour.
Were you also an accountant?
Not my story, BUT… A buddy of mine in college was one of the university’s starting baseball pitchers. He also happened to be gay. (Nobody cared about the gay thing. He was a nice guy. Whatever.) After college, he got an entry-level management job in the Miami area. The pay was crap, of course, so he started moonlighting as a RentBoy to augment his income. Eventually, he got hired by some wealthy closet case. Showed up at the client’s home where he was led into the garage and shown a 50 gallon barrel. Filled with oranges. The client went into the opposite corner of the garage, stripped down naked, and asked my buddy to throw the oranges at him. As Buddy tells it: “Man, I’m gay and everything. But I was a college baseball player. I throw in the high 80’s. Are you SURE you want me to do this?” Client LOVED HIM. Buddy plunked the guy for 20 minutes and got asked back every two weeks for the next 3 years. No sex. Just oranges. C’est la vie.
That poor man’s penis.
One of my regulars progressed from licking my crotch to me facesitting him, to farting him in the face – and finally he had me pooping him in the face. It disrupted my OCD controlled toilet habits severely, but at the equivalent of around $750 per session it was all worth it.
The ol’ poop in the face fetish.
My ex girlfriend use to do amateur web camming. One night she had a rather odd request. This guy asked that she put her dildo in her ass, take it out, and then gag herself with it until she puked. She did, and I honestly couldn’t tell you how much she made off the request. I can however, tell you that she spent an obscene amount of money on me, leading me to believe the gig (or gag, ~slaps knee) payed well.
And you were okay with your girlfriend doing this?
I had the chance to ask an escort this very question. She told me she had a regular who liked her to shit on his chest, then take a spoon and feed it to him.
I heard it has good vitamins.
One guy had this big blue suit that blew up into a big ball and made me look like the girl that turned into a blueberry in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. He had me put that on, and then jerked off on me while I acted like I’d been turned into a blueberry.
Did he have Oompa Loompas sing to you as well?
Not a sex worker, but I bang lots of dudes, and this one guy just wanted me to insult his tiny penis for like an hour while he jerked off. Tell him how tiny and useless it was.
Have you met the commenters here?
Former stripper here, a bit late to the party but this is a weird story.
I had a guy who would come in at opening every night and book me for an hour just to sniff my armpits. At first I was like wtf but hey, it was $200 to sit there for an hour and make small talk with the guy. He wanted my top off for easy access but nothing else and no dancing. Sweet.
After a few times he gold a bit bolder and asked if I’d stop wearing deodorant (or not put it on until after he left) and if I would jump around/run on the spot a bit to get sweatier, which it started to irk me a little bit but he was harmless. One day he just disappeared without a goodbye 🙁
He left without a goodbye because that’s some serial killer behavior and he was probably arrested.
$60 to give him my used tampon. Then, after giving it to him, another $60 if I would watch him eat it.
It was $120 on a slower night. All I could think was that he was going to get a terrible blockage later, no matter how well he chewed it.
WTF is wrong with people?
Well, I’m not a hooker, but I once paid one to give me a Blumpkin. Poor girl only wanted $20… she was very confused.
She’s the Wal-Mart of hookers.
Ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?
No, but I bet it pays well.
I had a man once ask how much it would cost to get naked, wear sailor hats, get into a jacuzzi filled with pepto bismal, shave his ass and clip his toe nails
This guy is a man who knows what he wants.
this guy wanted me to sell my literal feces to him and I said no because it’s illegal to ship
I’ll never see that $200 but fuck I’m not ruining good tupperware by putting doo doo in it
the postal workers here deserve better
If you would have done that, you could have really put the USPS out of business.
I was an escort in NYC briefly. I generally didn’t go to people’s houses without an appointment set up as it can be dangerous, but I did for one man because he was quite wealthy and willing to pay me much more than my normal rate.
It got weird once I got there. He called me Christie the whole time and had another prosititue over named Sabrina. She was only staring at my ass while I was dancing and he got upset and made her eat it. He also hated if anyone touched his watch.
Eat the booty like groceries because groceries are not meant to be stared at.
This one guy wanted me to put some personal items (teddy bear, hairbrush etc) that he provided around the motel room. Then we would go to bed and after he fell asleep he wanted me to go to the toilet and slam the door hard enough to wake him up.
His wife couldn’t do that for free?
Former cam girl – Got paid $70 to eat a piece of pizza in a private cam session. Fully clothed, no moaning or anything. And he paid for the pizza. I miss it being that easy.
Must be nice being a hot girl with tits.
Former NY stripper checking in, Idid escort work on the side.
I had a rather well off client want me to dress up as a maid, walk in to his office while he was on the phone, squat on his desk, and pee all over it and him.
I got $1,500 for that hour, $500 for dressing up, $500 for peeing on his desk, and $500 because he wanted me to keep it a secret.
I hope that’s a non-refundable fee, because you just outed him.
Escorted briefly while in active drug addiction. Clean now. Life is good.
I was asked to fuck a German Shepard. Offered $800. Absolutely not.
One of my favorite clients just wanted spit on, and called names. (Sissy. Pussy. Bitch.) $250/hour. No sex. Just spit on him.
What if he offered $1,000?
I used to do cam shows and phone sex. One guy paid me $150 for him to call me and pretend like I was a Pokémon, and say their name like they would themselves. I didn’t really know Pokemon well but I sure as hell learned.
Pokémon is the gift that just keeps on giving.
I have a friend who used to be a prostitute, who told me about a job she couldn’t do. It involved a man who brought a little board with a hole in it. The idea was, that he would lie naked on the floor with his cock and balls poking through the hole, and she was supposed to walk on him, like, really stomp down with her full weight, while wearing high heels.
She just couldn’t do it. She likes men, she likes penises, she dosn’t like hurting them.
Your friend is an angel.
I got offered $1 million to fuck off.
I, too, am accepting this offer. Venmo me.
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