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Shortest Books Ever Written

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The concept is simple. The books are short, or blank essentially, because their authors don’t know what the hell to write about on the given subjects. Get it? If not, you will.

Here they are:

Jokes: I Just Don’t Understand ThemThe Joke Explainer

A Flourishing Economy: How to Achieve It – Barack Obama

Ethical Gambling Practices – Dick Perry

Making People Laugh Without Poop or Masturbation References – Bacon

Social Media as a Book Marketing Tool and Why It Simply Doesn’t Work – TFM Staff

How I Came Out On Top of a One-Time Friendly Brotherly Rivalry – Luigi

The Caps Lock Function is for Communists – Lil B

Some Guys Just Have All the Luck: Playing the Hand You’re Dealt – Tom Brady

Wine, a Gentleman’s Drink – Tennessee Pikes

Mastering the Eloquence of the English Language – DOOD SKUNK

Adhering to a Strict No Hazing Policy – Mr. Weston, Alpha Pledge Trainer

Joys of the Vegan Lifestyle – Ron Swanson

Jesus, Who Needs Him? – Tim Tebow

My Body, My Temple – Kate Upton

Using Fame and Social Media to Pick Up Chicks – Manti Te’o

Shutting Up the Loudmouthed SEC – Brian Kelly

Beer? No Way, Too Many Calories – Wade Boggs

How Anorexia Almost Ruined My Life – Charlie Weis

I Care, I Swear – Jay Cutler

Maintaining a Professional Work Environment – Don Draper

How I Took Down an Entire Fleet with Green Turtle Shells – Anyone born between 1982 and 1992

How to Thwart an Office Bully – Allen

Achieving Success With Hard Work, Brains and Charisma – Kim Kardashian

Capturing the True Essence of the Sporting Event Atmosphere by Showing Plain Looking Females in the Stands – ESPN Cameramen

Field Dressing a Buck, Splitting Logs and Other Manly Shit – Justin Bieber

Floodgate Book Marketing and How It Could Turn Some People Off – TFM Staff

Hey, Shit Happens! Mistakes and How To Deal With Them Like a True Gentleman – Nick Saban

Your Quarterback is Always Right – Barrett Jones

Big Time Players Make Big Time Plays in Big Time Games – Manti Te’o

The Day We Earned Our Respect – Pledges

The Day They Earned Their Respect – Pledge Trainer

Quarterbacks are Basically All Homos – Brent Musburger

How the Fall of 2012 Brought Me Grave Depression – Johnny Manziel

My Review of New York Hot Spot Dorsia: Fuck That Place! – Patrick Bateman

The Terrors of Being Allergic to Sea Urchin Ceviche – Paul Allen

Articulation – Lou Holtz

What Are You Looking At, Motherfucker? Why Staring is a Social AtrocityThe Gator

Ethics in College Football – Bobby Petrino

Calm, Cool, Collected – Will Muschamp

How to Fill Some A-CupsRosie Jones

Soul Mates: I Found Mine – Taylor Swift

Avoiding the Spotlight – Katherine Webb

Future So Bright, Gotta Wear Shades – Honey Boo Boo

If You’re Not First, You’re Last – TFM Web Developer, Designer of ‘This’ Button

The Perils of Shameless Product Placement
and Why You’re Better Than That
– TFM Staff


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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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