Some Drunk Assholes On ATVs Tore Up The Greens At The Shell Houston Open Golf Course

This story has me split between two things I’m deeply passionate about: golf and mindless drunken destruction. On one hand, tearing up the greens of a golf course that annually holds a PGA event is utterly barbaric. Yes, it’s merely the site of the Shell Houston Open — not the sacred grounds of Augusta — but this ain’t your local muni, where putting through World War I trench warfare on the greens has virtually no effect on the 30-handicap hacks playing Top Flites anyway. No, when you’re paying premium dollar to be a country club member, you usually can swing the wrenches a bit and should never be subjected to craters next to the fucking flagstick.

That being said, the day I’m above getting shithoused before doing donuts in an ATV and slinging dirt with reckless abandon is the day you can put me out of my misery and euthanize my lame ass.

[h/t Golf Channel]

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Video Guy for Grandex Media. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to

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