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Trigger warning: the video you are about to see will likely disturb you.
I know we just had a wonderfully persuasive piece published about the necessity of killing fidget spinners in 2018, but I ask that you allow the stay of execution for just one more day to witness one desperate man’s cry for help.
Don’t let Les’ look of genuine excitement fool you. He’s clearly dying inside. The man has a 141-55 coaching record as a head coach, and he’s out here playing with a toy made for children. He’s coached a national championship-winning team, and he’s now been reduced to second-rate clickbait. This is 49 seconds worth of a once-respected man going through a serious existential crisis.
You may think his “What the hell is this?” query is directed at the fidget spinner, but the “this” he’s referring to is actually his own life. “What the hell is this? What’s my entire existence even come to? What’s the point anymore?”
With all that in mind, I implore you, somebody, anybody, get this man a football team to coach. I don’t care if it’s a Pop Warner squad out in bumfuck Iowa. Les just needs a job coaching football on some level. Actually, you know what? Fuck it. It doesn’t even have to be football. Water polo, badminton, bocce ball. Who cares? Just get this guy a headset, a clipboard, and some warm bodies to yell instructions at.
All I can say is that if I see a video of Coach Miles whipping and nae naeing on the front page of Buzzfeed come this time next week, I’m calling the police..
Image via The Players’ Tribune/Twitter