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Somewhat Attractive Two-Headed Woman Searches for a Teaching Position

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You thought your morbidly obese eighty-year-old 3rd grade teacher was scary, at least she only had one head. Abby and Brittany Hansel–arguably fuckable conjoined twins–are aiming to be what I can only imagine to be the first ever two-headed school teacher.

Conjoined twins Abby and Brittany Hensel took center stage with their own documentary series, aptly titled “Abby & Brittany.” The series chronicles their entry into the adult world. The young women just graduated with masters degrees in education and talked about how they were looking forward to searching for a job

Yes you read correctly, this woman (en) (fuck if I know) has their own TV show, so if you’re STILL not hard after next week’s episode of Honey Boo Boo, tune in on Tuesday to achieve full erection status. Seriously though, on the conjoined twin scale, they have to be one of the better pairs. I’d say at least a 8 or 9.

The twins are aware that they will have to negotiate some terms, but they feel like they are fully qualified, especially since they have two degrees. Honestly I think that’s bullshit because they probably just cheated off each other on everything.

I don’t know how I feel about them teaching children though. I can only imagine Greek Mythology day–some bratty little nine-year-old staring up at the two-headed monster, wondering if he cut off one of the heads if two more would sprout out of the severed neck. *Shivers*

I actually don’t give two shits about this article. I just want to see what you sick fucks post in the comment section.


Follow me on Twitter @CaptJackSperry

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