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South Carolina Student Body Presidential Candidate Allegedly Told Fraternity He’d Embezzle Student Government Cash For Social Funds

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Pi Kappa Alpha At University Of South Carolina Found Dead

Michael Parks, student body presidential candidate at the University of South Carolina, is in hot water after allegedly telling Lambda Chi fraternity brothers that if he gets elected, the chapter can expect extra cash in the social budget, courtesy of the student government.

The Daily Gamecock obtained a text conversation that depicts a brother spilling the beans on the operation to an unnamed recipient. The brother says he was forced to vote for Parks by the older members.

Parks is not a member of Lambda Chi.

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Damn dude. After throwing your fraternity under the bus to get pity from a girl, I hope you were at least able to link up those Netflix sessions. Also, what a sheisty bitch.

I’m not totally buying the text message, though. This whole thing could have easily been fabricated by a scorned ex-girlfriend or a boner who was kicked out of a house party. My bet is on the pissed off ex. I’ve never met a man in my life who texts the phrase “Erggggg” — not even when he’s trying to be cute with a girl. Also, the clarity and ease with which he gives up the plan are suspiciously seamless.

Did the Daily Gamecock get the recipient to come in with the phone, show the number that texted her, and check to see if it was from him? It couldn’t be that hard to discover the real number of the Lambda Chi kid.

The Daily Gamecock also slammed Parks with a slew of other “violations,” including setting up unofficial voting stations, having members of his campaign approach students and ask if they’d vote for him, and passing out flyers.

Members of Parks’ campaign were seen in multiple locations trying to influence student voters and interfere with the voting process by setting up unofficial voting stations and monitoring students while they voted.

The two reported stations were located at the Darla Moore School of Business and on the Pickens Street Bridge near The Colloquium Cafe. Members of his campaign staff approached students to ask if they had voted and to request that the students vote for Parks. The station on the bridge was reported to have had laptops and an iPad. This type of interference with the voting process is considered election fraud, as defined by Section 4-4-10 of the campaign codes.

Parks was also reported for putting fliers under residents’ doors in Columbia Hall, Patterson Hall and 650 Lincoln. Multiple fliers were hung up in the elevators and on the walls of these buildings as well. This method of campaigning is in violation of the University Solicitation Policy.

In total, Parks has 5.5 points in violations. A candidate can be disqualified after obtaining five points.

How the fuck is it illegal to pass out flyers or ask people on the sidewalk to vote for you? Isn’t that pretty much the only means of self-promotion in a student election? I mean, I’m sure the student presidential debate is widely attended by all walks of campus life, but aside from that. Fucking dumb.

I can see how creating an unofficial voting station is illegal, but how could they get away with submitting those votes anyway? Is the election run on an honors system where all the candidates just show up at the end with an Excel document and say, “Here, I got THIS many votes!” Who’s running this shit?

But no matter, Parks is still in the running. He had this to say about the allegations:

“I’m not a member of a Greek organization on campus, however, like other candidates, I have shared my platform with several of the Greek chapters here at USC. The decisions, actions, and endorsements of Greek and non-Greek organizations on election days are completely out of my campaign’s control. I appreciate the support from many of these organizations and hope that it continues through next week’s runoff election.”

I don’t know man. I could care less about the student government. At the end of the day, no one does. “Who will dictate the all-important decision of where to erect the new park benches on campus? WHO? Guide us mighty leader!”

I just hope Lambda Chi doesn’t get in trouble for this.

[via Daily Gamecock]

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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