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UPDATE: South Dakota Phi Delt House Vandalized With The Most Original Graffiti Of All-Time

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Update: February 16, 2015, 2:33 p.m. CST

Apparently the vandals were butthurt after getting kicked out of a Phi Delt party. Hilarious.

End of update

Early Sunday morning, Phi Delta Theta at the University of South Dakota woke up to find an inflammatory message spray-painted on the side of their chapter house. You can check out a picture of the graffiti here, or you can check out my glorious artist’s rendition below.

Artist's rendition

Artist’s rendition

Yup. They wrote “We date rape.” God, what a masterpiece. Such an original thought. These vandals are not just graffiti artists, they’re graffiti philosophers. Well played, well played.

Why did I decide to recreate the vandals’ accusatory graffiti, you may ask? That’s easy — to see how it felt to make a sweeping generalization about a group of people I do not know. If I do that in most other cases, I’m considered “misogynistic,” “racist,” and/or an awful, intolerant person, but luckily fraternities, the last bastion of acceptable typecasting, still exist, so I can get out all of my unprovoked and thoughtless aggression. Phew!

And how did it make me feel? Great! Boy, making brash accusations about people I’ve never met based on a few unsubstantiated reports I’ve seen in the media really gets my motor running. I’ve never felt more alive.

My favorite part about fraternity houses getting vandalized is that you know the vandals consider themselves social justice warriors. Yes, because nothing says “I want a more tolerant, forward-thinking society” than going and referring to an entire group of strangers as something you were told that they were by somebody else.

Now, I don’t know any South Dakota Phi Delts. If they actually do date rape, then fuck those guys. Otherwise, fuck the hypocritical vandals who accused innocent fraternity members of being something they’re not.

Images via Google Maps

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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