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Stuff Frat People Hate: Moving In

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Whether you’re returning to the Frat Castle for another year of well-mannered debauchery, or moving out to a more study-friendly off campus environment, there is no way around the fact that moving is a bitch.

One of the chief hindrances to the start of a fresh year of functional alcoholism is the inherent lack of pledges in the early weeks. This is never more apparent than move-in day at the house. Believe it or not, it can get a little difficult moving a massive, stripper pole adorned bar into a doorway without any pledge assistance to speak of. Throw in a little “welcome-back” alcohol consumption in there (read: handle of Makers per brother) and moving in is next to impossible.

First time in-house brothers are always among the most entertaining. Typically, they’re overcome with joy at the idea of living in their respective frat castles. It is not uncommon to see a kegstand occurring amongst the endless move-in clutter.

For those of us moving out of the frat house, it’s a whole new ballgame. The accumulation of stolen road signs, neon lighting, and that water bed may have seemed like a good idea before, but the burdensome task of transfer will make you regret them all. Sure living in a place that doesn’t reek of stale beer in the mornings has its perks, but there comes a time when it is appropriate to buckle down and live in a less hectic domicile (as long as its close to the bars).

Maybe I’m just bitter because my mattress is currently on the floor surrounded by boxes and piles of random but necessary shit. I’m seriously considering holding off until I can get my least favorite pledge to do it for me. Hope he doesn’t mind organizing my sock drawer.

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StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments.

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