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Stuff Frat People Hate: The Weird Chapter

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Before we begin, I have to state that obviously the bonds of your fraternal brotherhood are eternal, and those who adhere to the same creed should be shown respect if they ever choose to visit your chapter. That being said, there is the occasional letter-sharing visitor who just seems a little out of place; possibly because of the sandals with socks, or possibly because of the nasally croak he makes after every cup he sinks. The simple fact is that no matter your fraternity, no matter your tier or your girls or your house; you have some weird ass chapters out there.

You may come across them at National Conventions, or they may go as far to stop by and visit your house “to see how other chapters run.” Unfortunately, in most cases the weird chapters are either one of only three houses at West Bumfuck State, have 32 members, or are simply jammed full of Super Smash obsessed anti-socialites. Regardless of how you come across them, you are instantly flung into the awkward “I would openly hate you if we weren’t in the same house” phase, and overcoming this hurdle is no easy task. If you’re a respectable person at all (stretch for some of you, I know) you’ll at least give them the decency of hanging out and a house tour, but if he sticks his Doritos crusted fingers in one place he shouldn’t by all means set him in line.

Obviously, I’m a huge supporter of brotherhood and the national connections that arise from our respective organizations. It’s great that you could literally travel across the country, see those letters on a house, and instantly know you’ll be welcome. But the main difference here is I do not look like a pedophile, I am willing to throw down for beer, and I assure you I will not be creeping out any girls. Any guests who shatter these three suggestions, brother or not, need to be motivated into the right direction, lest they make your far more preferable female guests uncomfortable.

Now, if you’re reading this and saying “No way, every chapter I’ve met has been awesome!” I have a little bit of unfortunate news. There is a 94.4% possibility you fall in the “weird chapter” category and are the bane of your brother’s existence at other universities. I’m just saying, put down the Slim Jim, get out of the dark rape-corner, and grab a beer and maybe your brothers will be a little more receptive.

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StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you're all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments.

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