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The nightlife is the highlight of any college town. I get that. But there is certainly something to be said about a well timed, sun fueled, day drinking binge.
Day drinking offers one the opportunity to not only seize the day, but to clamp it by the balls and issue a disheartening twist. A day spent with a cold Natural in hand is time well spent in my book. Whether you spend it poolside with some classy sorostitutes in tow, or just throw a mid-day frat castle rager, the steady rise in inebriation is guaranteed to reinforce the validity of your decision.
And blessed are the bars that embrace this day drinking revolution. These establishments were once inhabited by lowly alcoholic sob stories before noon, but with a little clever marketing and a drink special or two, they have escalated into a hub of dangerous (in a good way) drunken behavior.
Of course, there is one lethal drawback to the celebratory nature of day drinking: the aftermath. Suddenly, the hours you would normally spend preparing for the night ahead are shrouded in a semi-hungover haze. Fear not, because there are two ways to rectify this potentially devastating mindset.
The first solution is to admit defeat. This can be accomplished by finding any acceptable flat surface, removing one’s shoes, and entering a drunken nap. While this may be the best solution for resuming a normal life the following day, it also proves that you are in fact a pussy.
The obvious and preferable solution is to continue pounding beers until navigating your frat castle begins to feel like an obstacle course on Legends of the Hidden Temple. Ideally, you can continue this streak long into the night and return to your bars of choice. But realistically, you probably won’t.