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Subway Employees Rub Junk On Bread, Freeze Piss

Did anyone order a cockmeat sandwich? No? I didn’t think so. Two Subway employees in Columbus, Ohio decided to go on ahead and pioneer the new sandwich anyway, which was then posted on Instagram under the handle @ianjett. The other employee apparently bottled and froze his own piss, beating Bear Grylls to the punch and providing what I assume he thought would be a refreshing side drink to his co-worker’s new creation.

Seriously though, stop licking/fucking/sexually harassing our meals before you prepare them, poorly paid teenagers working in the food industry. I know I wouldn’t want my own dick in my sandwich, so I certainly don’t want your dick there. This rash of food-related fuckery is really getting out of control. I, for one, don’t want to live in a world where I fear that my sandwich could have had a little “extra mayo” added to it before being served.

To be fair to the food-defiling employees, they claim it didn’t happen at work, because that would be disgusting. Doing it at home and Instagramming it, though? Totally cool in their books.

[via Huffington Post]


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Scientist, internet comedian, future supervillain. I still refuse to believe I've graduated college.

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