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Suck It Vegans, Science Says Kale Is Actually Terrible For You

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Guess what, vegans?

There’s now scientific proof that eating raw kale and other cruciferous vegetables could actually be really bad for you.

From Oregon State University Linus Pauling Institute:

Very high intakes of cruciferous vegetables, such as cabbage, turnips [and kale], have been found to cause hypothyroidism (insufficient production of thyroid hormones) in animals. Two mechanisms can potentially explain this effect. The hydrolysis of progoitrin, found in cruciferous vegetables, may yield a compound known as goitrin, which may interfere with thyroid hormone synthesis. The hydrolysis of another class of glucosinolates, known as indole glucosinolates, results in the release of thiocyanate ions that can compete with iodine for uptake by the thyroid gland.

Your thyroid is one of the most important endocrine organs in your body. It produces the thyroid hormones, which have a major role in regulating metabolism in your body, and calcitonin, which controls bone homeostasis through acting to reduce blood calcium by storing it in bone. Basically, it’s a big deal. Issues with your thyroid can lead to a condition called a goiter—a massive swelling of the neck. Vegans may be #bodypositive with having long underarm hair and not using deodorant, but start growing an elephant testicle out of your neck and suddenly nobody wants to Instagram anymore.

Now before you go shoving this into your girlfriend’s face, there’s still absolutely no evidence that eating COOKED leafy vegetables has any effect on your thyroid at all. Painfully, most experts agree that adding a couple servings of vegetables into your diet is unsurprisingly still nutritionally healthy for you. Also, even if you’re eating a ton of raw kale, you have to be shoveling it by the truckload to see any goiter-type pathology as long as you don’t have an iodine deficiency. Since most table salt in the US is enriched with iodine for that very reason, the chances are pretty low.

Unless of course, you happen to be the kind of person that only eats raw “natural” sea salt or Himalayan salt crystals, which aren’t fortified. What kind of person does that? Hmm, I wonder…

Gentlemen, time to change some lives. Spread the word.

Raw kale is bad for you.

[via Oregon State University Linus Pauling Institute]

Image via Youtube

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Doctor Franzia

*Not qualified to practice medicine*

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