Survey Finds Young People Aren’t Into Fucking Anymore

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I’ve never called fake news. Honestly, I think anyone who does is kind of a clown, but this can’t be accurate. This “study” claims that men between the ages of 16 and 21 aren’t totally enjoying having sex. I dare you to find me any late high school to early college aged dude who has any aspirations other than inserting himself into every skirt he sees. It’s literally the only thing our simple minded brains can think about at this age.

From the Toronto Star:

Lucia O’Sullivan, a psychology professor at the Fredericton university, said more than three-quarters of young men and women struggle with bad sex lives — with one or more “persistent and distressing” problems in sexual functioning.

Okay, this is much more believable on the female side of things. My understanding of how to get a girl to achieve orgasm is about the same level as my understanding of how airplanes can magically fly through the air. Like I know that both can happen, and they involve something with the flaps, but I could not tell you how or why.

The only “persistent and distressing” problem for a young male in the sex game is an inability to hold his load for more than 30 seconds. From the ladies’ perspective, the rub is that they have to have sex with men. 

The survey of more than 400 young people aged 16 to 21 in New Brunswick found 79 percent of young men and 84 percent of young women reported sexual problems over a two-year period.

Disclaimer: This is a Canadian study. The lack of horned-up, red-blooded Americans could very well be the reason for such unbelievable stats. Let’s hope so, because if there are American kids out there that are, as the study calls it, “disinterested,” in having sex, then this country really is going to shit. 

[via Toronto Star]

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Washed Up Former Athlete. Totally over my ex-girlfriend. I hold the distinct honor of being the only player in my school's history to receive a football scholarship without being able to bench 225 lbs.

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