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Sweden To Set Up “Mansplaining” Hotline Because Talking To Women Is Now Misogynistic

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call center mansplaining

Sweden, the Mecca for your local social justice warrior (oh, how they would Mutombo finger wag at for daring to make a religious reference), now has a hotline set up for those affected by “mansplaining.” Seriously.

From USA Today:

One of Sweden’s largest trade unions, Unionen, set up the hotline after hearing one too many mansplaining complaints from its members.

Now, for those who don’t know what mansplaining is, sorry — I’m of no real use to you because I barely have a grasp of the concept. From what I understand — and this may be incorrect — it is when a cis-gendered male bigot non-consensually explains something to a woman in a threatening manner that makes the woman feel as if the man perceives himself to be superior to the woman. I can only assume in the Swedes’ universal healthcare and IKEA-clouded brains, every mansplanation includes subliminal phrases like, “You wouldn’t understand, skitstövel (that is a Swedish insult that literally translates to poop boot)” or, “Hey, you stupid blonde whore, there’s a man talking — now get back to making those meatballs.” When you interpret mansplaining into American vernacular, though, it is simply when your average male know-it-all wants to talk a female’s ear off because they think girls like smart guys (they do, right?). By that definition, I am public enemy number one in Sweden. Ladies of Svenska, I swear I’m not a misogynist — I’m just your average American pre-med student that wants to impress you by explaining why you’re getting a cold and the effects of caffeine on the body. Why won’t you love me?

The hotline has been set up as a place for women to air out all the injustices that an average conversation with a male can engender (pun intended). Calling that hotline is apparently the easiest option for those Swedish women out there who wouldn’t dare say, “Yeah, I knew that already,” or, “I don’t give a fuck about your Westworld theories.” I view this as a problem in their harmonious socialistic education. There is no higher offense in Sweden than not agreeing with everyone else’s ideas. My solution is that all Swedish college students take my awesome freshman year debate class that taught me to confront my problems with actual confrontation and not go running to faceless sympathizers. I also banged my TA in that class, but that’s beside the point.

My biggest fear is that our American collegiate system continues to get tainted by the Swedes’ example. We already live in a culture where people are encouraged to stop having a conversation with non-PC viewpoints because it’s just not worth the conflict. Facebook has already insulated millions of millennials from outside opinions that might dare conflict with theirs. All these hotlines do is create a safe space for the masses. The most jarring reality is that “mansplaining” is not even concerned with differing ideologies, but the views of men and women as a whole. Sweden has taken one step forward into the dark abyss. This hotline promotes a world where we avoid talking to others altogether because they are different from us. I cannot stand for that, not only because it promotes the hampering of progress, but because it hampers my ability to talk to Swedish women. Have you seen Swedish women?

So Sweden, take a step back and evaluate what you’re doing. Your “feminist” government is driving a wedge between the sexes, promotes exclusion, and allows the real male douchebags to keep being douchebags since women are too scared to confront them.

If you’re listening, women of Sweden, heed my words. Confront those men who you do not agree with or think are belittling you. Explain and assert yourself in the face of misogyny. I urge you to take on the famous Swedish feminist Elin Nordegren as your spiritual leader. Instead of picking up a phone, go pick up a golf club.

Tiger Woods hasn’t mansplained since.

[via USA Today]

Image via Shutterstock

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