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New STD Increases Sex Drive And Causes Sterility

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A new parasitic virus has been discovered to increase sex drive and cause sterility in males while having no noticeable sexual effect on females. Not only does it make you want sex more often, but it also makes you more “enthusiastic” as well. The virus is passed through sexual contact, meaning women and men can spread it to all of their partners.

Sounds like the coolest STD ever right? No more condoms and no more whiskey dick. Well, before you go raw dogging anything you can get your hands on hoping to hit the STD “jackpot,” it’s worth noting that the parasite has only been observed in crickets, and the crickets, well, die after they’ve been infected.

Really, this STD sounds terrible. There’s also the part where the parasites “use hormones, neurotransmitters, and proteins to disconnect the host’s brain from its immune system, to ensure the parasite survives, and change the infected animal’s behavior,” kind of like if the spores from The Last of Us were an STD. This could be the end of the human race. All men become sterile by the disease, but desperately want to bone, thereby spreading the disease further. Mother Nature, you ingenious bitch.

If you were terminal and knew you were on the way out though, this could quite possibly be the best way to go.

[via Live 105]

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I used to write for TFM and PGP when they were funny.

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