There are certain events that you will never forget: initiation, graduation, that time your pledge brother got cut off on “All You Can Eat Pancake Night” after eating 43 pancakes and drinking a carafe of tomato juice. These things stay with you for life, but their importance is minuscule compared to the news that just dropped a few days ago. This is the monumental moment of our generation. This is the moment that you learned that Taco Bell may begin serving alcohol.
We’ve all had those late night conversations about how much money Taco Bell could rake in by selling booze. It’s just a savvy business move. Real supply and demand type shit. One franchise that’s opening soon in Chicago’s Wicker Park realized this and is moving mountains to make it happen. Set to open this summer, this Taco Bell will, provided it’s approved, have a liquor license.
It’s perfect. Taco Bell has been a favorite drunk food for years. Many scholars suggest that Taco Bell was actually founded with late night drunk munchies in mind. Look it up.
This Taco Bell won’t just be a regular Taco Bell that happens to serve alcohol. A spokesman for the company that owns Taco Bell said that this particular restaurant will have a “completely new urban restaurant design.” It’s not just going to be a fast food joint. It’s going to be a nightlife spot.
I already know this is going to be a wild success. It’s got money written all over it. When other Taco Bell locations see this, they’ll follow suit and start serving vodka Baja Blasts and other fine drinks, too. Simple shit, guys. They’d be idiots not to do it.
For years, drunk people have been going on late night Taco Bell runs. Some folks have brought in flasks of liquor or even cans of beer to enjoy with their cheesy, Mexican-ish food. Now, provided everything works out, people can go to Taco Bell hungry and sober, and then leave satisfied and with a buzz. What an exciting time to live in this country. Here’s hoping the license gets approved. It’s not what the people want; it’s what the people need..
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