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If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times (I still have no idea what this phrase means), T. Swift has cast a sex spell on the world and no one is immune. She’s like a highly contagious disease that is slowly and very surely infecting every red-blooded human on the planet, one town at a time. If you don’t yet find her crazy attractive, it’s coming. Just wait.
One minute you’re cringing at her awkward dance moves, paltry frame and terrible posture, then the next you’re imagining what she’s like in bed. You don’t know how or when it happened, but it did, and you’ve come to realize there’s a 100% chance she’s like a cornered lioness in the sheets — legs for days, the face of a temptress, and the crazy streak to bring it all together. Look at the above picture. To Swift’s left is Lily Aldridge, a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Try to tell me that Aldridge looks better than my girl Swift in that pic. Just try it. Fucking liar.
She’s the rare combination of awkwardness and pure sex. I can’t explain it, but she does it so well. Maxim agrees and has put her at #1 on the 2015 Maxim Hot 100.
Watch her new video and tell me Maxim made the wrong call here. You can’t.
Taylor, let’s settle down together when your hot streak cools down and we’ll just enjoy each other, romantically. We’ll buy a nice, yet understated house in the burbs and have like a thousand kids and jam out to “Blank Space” every day..