Ted Cruz’s Freshman Year College Roommate Says He Was A Humongous D-Bag

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Screenwriter Craig Mazin is best known professionally for his work on Scary Movie 3, Scary Movie 4, and the last two The Hangover movies. In addition to these credits, he also holds the self-given title of “least lucky freshman of all-time” after getting matched up to spend his first year of college living with Texas Junior Senator and Republican presidential hopeful Ted Cruz.

Back in 2012, Mazin expressed his hatred towards Cruz.

Then, on January 10 of this year, to celebrate hitting 25,000 followers on his Twitter account, Mazin decided to regale the Twittersphere with stories of his time living with Ted Cruz.

If I understand this correctly, Cruz was so universally hated at Princeton that students three years his senior would let Cruz’s roommate hang out with them in order to minimize the time he had to spend with Ted? Essentially Cruz was so awful that he brought together groups of people who would have normally wanted nothing to do with each other. In a backwards sort of way, that’s kind of a great quality for a president to have.

I… can relate.

Of what is Cruhz comprised? If Cruz has discovered some sort of renewable oil source, or, even better, he is a renewable source of oil, this could be huge for the energy crisis.

Lawyer up, you just might have a case.

Hey, I’m not dumb, Cruz! Sure, I may have gotten a D in Animal Science 101, but that’s just because I thought the animal husbandry lab was an autopsy lab.

Psh. Ted Cruz probably thinks I’m too DUMB to know what “prescient” even means.

*Grabs a dictionary*

The crazy part is that there are somehow worse roommates out there than Ted Cruz.

[via Twitter]

Image via Andrew Cline /

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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