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Texas Student Smashes Her Car Into Restaurant, Tells Police They Can’t Arrest Her Because She’s A Texas Student

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Poke Bowl

A UT Austin student smashed her car into the Poke Bowl on Guadalupe this past weekend. She initially refused to be arrested because she claimed she was a UT student and not under the jurisdiction of Austin police. When some people go deep, they go all the way.

Strap on your seatbelts, kids.

From KXAN Austin:

A University of Texas at Austin student accused of drunk driving crashed into a restaurant on Guadalupe Street early Monday morning, and when confronted by police, said, “I’m a UT student! You can’t arrest me!”

Two University of Texas police officers were on patrol in the area when they heard the sound of tires squealing and then a loud crash, the department said. The officers found a vehicle had crashed through the front of the Poke Bowl restaurant at 2828 Guadalupe St., near the intersection with West 29th Street, at 2:22 a.m.

When UT police explained that Austin police officers would be responding because the crash happened in their jurisdiction, the student said she was UT affiliated and would only speak to its police department.

The officers risked their own lives breaking the woman out of the collapsing Poke Bowl structure, heroically smashing the car windows and pulling her out. In thanks, she immediately started arguing with the officers about jurisdictional law and demanded a breathalyzer. I’d think after you slammed your car into a window at 2 AM, maybe you’d want to give your alcohol dehydrogenase a little time to bring the old BAC down, but sometimes you have to make the bold play. That’s like screaming “Go ahead! Incriminate me!” and hoping they blink. Playing chicken with cops is not usually a good start to a legal defense.

Wait, it gets better.

After officers took her ID, the woman became loud and violent. She attempted to grab her ID back and yelled about wanting to fight the officers. Makes sense. Technically, the Laws of the Jungle state that if you can overpower every officer in the police force, they have to make you their king. The cops promptly tossed her in the back of a squad car and hauled her drunk ass off to County. She tried to kick out the windows of the squad car the whole way there.

Jesus Christ. Here’s hoping the Poke Bowl can get up and running again as smoothly as possible. What a moron.

Next time, just pass out on someone’s couch.

[via KXAN Austin]

Image via Google Maps

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Doctor Franzia

*Not qualified to practice medicine*

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