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Texas Tech Student Takes Off For Spring Break, Leaves Behind His Dorm Room Meth Lab

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It seems that every dorm has the same group of staple characters.

The guy with the really big TV and Blu-Ray player, the kid smuggling a 24-pack of Natty in his fridge, that creepy 22-year-old senior who still lives in a freshmen dorm but thinks he’s cool because “he has a single,” the kid with the meth lab under his bed…

Giving one RA the best inspection results of his life, an unfinished meth lab was recently discovered in the dorm room of an unidentified Texas Tech student.

From Lubbock Online:

Texas Tech confirmed Saturday morning that materials necessary to begin a meth lab were located in a dorm room on the Tech campus Friday night.

However, the student reportedly had not been in his dorm room for several days and the lab was not operational, according to Chris Cook, managing director of media for Tech.

No shocker there. If you know you have a partially-developed meth lab, you’re probably not going to spend a whole lot of time there. One freshman decides to light his blunt in the room next door, and Texas Tech is short one dorm building. During the days leading up to the finding, this aspiring Walter White was probably out wandering around Lubbock looking for the final materials to finish his project.

With the investigation ongoing, Cook said he could not release the name of the student or how the potential lab was discovered. Cook also said it is not known if the suspect had a roommate.

How could this guy possibly have a roommate? You can’t sneak a lot of stuff around a tiny dorm room without your roommate knowing. You can sometimes have sex in the twin bed eight feet from your roommate without him knowing, but there’s no way to hide a meth lab. Either that roommate is both blind and unable to perceive smell, or he was also in on it.

Even if somehow this meth cooker lucked into having a nose-less Helen Keller as his roommate, the room’s about to become a single anyway. By now this guy is probably over in Mexico. Texas Tech is the last place he should be. It won’t be too hard to pin him to the meth if he did return (then again, he was dumb enough to begin building a meth lab in a dorm room).

Since the meth lab products were discovered the day after spring break began, it’s pretty obvious an RA found it while doing room sweeps. There were probably a dozen write-ups for alcohol possession on that floor alone. It stands out when an RA has to write, “Resident was in possession of materials to manufacture crystal meth” on the referral slip.

But don’t feel bad for him. If there is anything Breaking Bad has taught us, it’s that no matter how successful you are in chemistry, you’re just going to end up losing the love of your life, getting cancer and teaching at some shitty high school in Albuquerque before turning to meth anyway. This guy was just cutting out all the in-between steps. Trying to read about methamphetamine on Wikipedia is hard enough. If this guy can even come close to making meth now without destroying half of Texas he probably doesn’t need a college undergraduate degree. Now he’s free to make meth without the constraints of a dorm room. Who knows, he might even get a TV show out of it.

[via Lubbock Online]

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Rex Reagan

Rex Reagan is a contributing writer for Total Frat Move.

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