A Message To The Old Grandex Guys

In retrospect, I’ve come to realize that I should’ve written this a long time ago, and that’s on me. Thinking it was enough to announce that TFM has changed ownership for five minutes on my podcast was a bad move, and as former employees/current content creators, all of you and your fans deserve better than that. I’m writing this today to thank you for building a digital media company from the ground up and providing a generation of young adults brief moments of laughter to escape the arduous reality that we as college students have no idea what the fuck we are doing. Because of the hard work and creativity you all displayed years ago; I’m able to close out of PornHub and start working for the day. It’s truly a dream job.

To Ross Bolen, in my mind, you’ve had the most impressive transition from TFM. As a casual RBP gang member (you’re the Jamal Crawford of my podcast rotation), I can’t express in words how brave you are. And as somebody that’s danced with anxiety his whole life, the fact that you and Chris have curated a community that builds off each other’s experiences and struggles is incredible. Whenever my mind is in its darkest abyss, and I feel like I’m screaming in an endless white room with nobody listening, your podcast is my saving grace. You’ve been incredibly vulnerable, taken lots of risks, and your audience has been there through all of your laughs and tears. Fuck it. I’ll get soppy for a second; I fucking cried reading your Tesla appreciation post. You’re an internet OG, a fantastic person, and somebody I have the utmost respect for, thank you Ross. 

To Rob Fox, you and KFCbarstool are the reason I began reading blogs. Your creativity is absurd, and to be honest, almost scary. You are one of the most undervalued Twitter follows in the game, and you’ve made me laugh so many times while taking a shit that I’ve been questioned by friends whether or not I’m schizophrenic. Sometimes I go back and watch old TFM videos just to pinpoint moments where I can say, yeah, that’s a Rob Fox joke. For years you were able to depict a douchebag fraternity guy without clingy to the shitty 90’s stereotypes I have to watch too much of on Tik Tok. Your mind is a fucking wonder dude. I specifically remember looking at the clock in my high school US History class waiting to read what you cooked up that day. As another mick with an alcohol problem that’s sabotaging his life a guy that also likes a drink or two to take the edge off, I’ve always found you incredibly relatable. I couldn’t imagine the number of outlandish, out of pocket jokes your wife hears on a daily basis. I wish your new podcast with some other old TFM guys found here the best of luck. Thank you Rob.

To the Washed Media guys, let’s call a spade a spade and acknowledge that I’m writing this right now because of a controversy surrounding a piece of merch TSM released yesterday. No, we did not steal it from you. Yes, I understand that it may look that way, especially considering you all used to work here. From one mid-to small-sized podcast host to another, you have to understand that I haven’t consumed any of your new content since Aaron Hernandez was on trial. That’s no diss on you guys; that’s just a kid who isn’t old enough to remember 9/11 not finding content tailored to people who have their shit figured out (or at least try to) relatable. Roger Dorn, wearing something that looks like that Lily Pullitzer squirted on the Vineyard Vines whale, was the face of this company for years, and you did an incredible job, Dillion. Being that I’m one of two people who also worked for your old bosses, it’s palpable that the relationship ended about as gracefully as Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. I don’t have enough knowledge to speak on that; all I want to say is that my new bosses aren’t your beef guys. So, in the future, if you have a problem with something we executed on, please reach out in the DMs, so the twenty-two-year-old girl running TSM’s Twitter isn’t filled with Mothers of three that graduated college in 2009 in her mentions. If we wanted to wake up and choose violence with the millennial crowd, I’d voice my opinion that having dog mommy in your Instagram bio makes me want to spit on your face. I appreciate all of the past efforts you guys made, and will be recommending your podcast to my twenty-nine year old cousin that thinks he’s cool because he paid $300 for a record player.

To everyone else, thank you. If you want to read the rebranded site, that’s cool, but I’m not going to Buzzfeed beg you. My only request is that in the future when you talk about TFM, you guys are aware that you’re shitting on the hungry content creators that make a living off of doing this, not the people that you may feel stabbed you in the back a long time ago. I’ve loved seeing you guys grow over the years, as have your fans.