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Japan Doesn’t Want Olympians To Fuck

For years the Olympic village has been known as a gigantic orgy. They have handed out baggies full of condoms to every athlete. People win gold, get a little drunk, are very happy, and what’s the best way to end one of the best nights of your life? Have some great sex. Well, with Covid outbreaks happening in Japan, they are trying to find ways to avoid any physical contact. If your bed is made out of cardboard, how are you supposed to bang? Let’s see here you can stand, fuck on the floor, fuck against the wall. We have some of the best athletes from every country; this isn’t your drunk, sloppy ass trying to have sex, and you can barely perform missionary. I imagine these gymnasts have some crazy positions that us normal folks have never heard of. If they can do this for sport, what can they do in the bedroom?

Rhys McClenaghan, a gymnast for Ireland, has shown that he can literally jump on these cardboard beds, and nothing will happen. I know some people like it rough, but if you can jump on the bed, you can defiantly have sex.

Will these cardboard beds actually discourage people from having sex? Or will Olympic athletes find another way to bang each other? A little side note that doesn’t have to do with sex is how comfortable can these beds actually be? These Olympic athletes have the most important days of their life coming up, and you can’t be getting a great night of sleep on these cardboard beds.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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