The Top 10 Majors With The Hottest Girls

Note: this article is from the archives, originally published 8 years ago. I wish I could’ve brought the comments over with the article, because they were fucking hilarious

Not all majors were created equal. In my 5.3 year college experience, I came to understand this fact more and more with each passing day. After seeing hordes upon hordes of unfortunate-looking engineering students, I came to an enlightening conclusion. Some majors just naturally attract smoking hot girls. In some cases, it’s the subject material, in others it’s nothing but a mystery of science and reason, but chances are, this fact holds just as true on your campus as it did on mine. Below I have compiled the top ten hottest majors in America today. If you disagree, you’re probably wrong, but feel free to plead your case and email me at [email protected].

10. Design

Whether it’s fashion or interior decorating, these girls have the talent and artistic vision to back up their generally sexy looks. Sure, she might have some unrealistic expectations; chances are she won’t become the next Coco Chanel. In fact, there’s a decent chance she won’t get a job at all, so you should probably count on being the provider for the ladies heading down this path. Nothing wrong with the MRS degree if you ask me. Plus, she’ll be able to decorate the hell out of your kitchen.

9. Nutrition

This is an obvious one. If she spends her class time learning about staying healthy and the various ways a 2:00am Taco Bell run will negatively affect her body, chances are she’s the kind of girl who knows how to take care of herself. I’m pretty sure a fat nutrition major would fail out the first week solely based on principle.

8. Sports Management

Another easy call. If she’s interested in sports management, it’s almost guaranteed that she’s played a sport in her life. Athletic girls aren’t always sexy, but I took statistics once and I learned enough to tell you that the probability is much higher than average. These girls get bonus points because chances are they actually understand the rules of football. Keepers in my book.

7. Business

Here’s the thing about business majors: they aren’t always hot. There’s nothing sexy about a future in pantsuit purgatory, but when these girls are sexy, chances are they’ve got it all. The ambition, the good looks, and most likely a huge company they can inherit from Daddy one day. The few smokeshows alone who congregate in the business college are more than enough to earn them the #7 spot.

6. Marketing

Marketing has been gaining a lot of steam in recent years in the babe department, and the indoctrination of social media into modern business strategy has only strengthened the potential. Chances are if she’s a marketing major she just really likes Twitter and Pinterest and hopes to turn her talents into an underwhelming career. Pro: she knows how to make herself seem desirable. Con: she’ll probably document every moment you spend together across her full social media spread.

5. Pre-Med

This one goes without saying. She wants to help people, she’s dedicated, and knows exactly what she wants in life. Motivation is an extremely sexy quality. The downsides? You’ll probably only see her once a semester because she’s constantly ovaries-deep in a organic chemistry textbook. And if you’re in it for the long haul, you’ll have to live with knowing that she spends her days rubbing dudes’ balls and tickling prostates. Can’t win ‘em all.

4. Psychology

This one is a little more mysterious. There’s nothing about psychology that’s inherently sexy, yet the attractive masses seem to flock to this major like they were heading to Starbucks on the day Pumpkin Spice Lattes came out. The only negative about psych girls? Chances are they’re going to overanalyze your every action. If she tries to connect your excessive drinking and sexual habits to your relationship with your mother, it might be time to give her the axe.

3. Education

That hot teacher you had in middle school? She had to start somewhere, and chances are it was pursuing an education degree. While there are no guarantees, girls who pursue this major are usually some of the most attractive on campus. A little known fact: the younger the children she plans on teaching, the higher up she’ll most likely be on the 1-10 scale. The gals who hope to teach a kindergarten classroom one day almost always attain babe status. High school teachers to be on the other hand? Unless they’re cool with getting hit on constantly, chances are they aren’t quite as nice to look at.

2. Nursing

She doesn’t want to be a doctor, but she’s still caring and wants to help people. Sure, her school experience won’t be easy, but you’ll get to spend a hell of a lot more time with her than the pre-med bookworms on campus. If the nursing college was a sorority, it would be a top-tier house without question. The only downside I see here? She’ll probably be insulted when you inevitably ask her to dress in a sexy nurse outfit for Halloween.

1. Journalism

Finally, we’ve reached the hottest major on campus without question. Whether it’s communications, advertising, telecommunications, or just good old fashioned j-school: year after year this group of girls comes out on top. From the masses of future sideline reporters, to the local news smokeshows to be, journalism has a lot going for it. Even the regular old reporters in training tend to stand out. If you’re a journalism major reading this, you should know that you’re in fantastic company.

What do you think?

Written by Malcolm Henry

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