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Three Things Future College Kids Won’t Get About COVID

Look I get that there are still people that get COVID and it’s real and blah blah blah, but for the average college degenerate the time that we’ve cared about getting it and stopping the spread has been over for a while because we’re in our twenties and we’re self-centered and that’s okay. With that being said, there are some things about going to college through a pandemic that future generations of college students simply will not understand.

Mask Hot

When you first start going to classes in a semester, you right away scope out everyone in the class and determine who the hottest of your peers are. Don’t act like you don’t. You’d be lying. COVID presented an interested dilemma when in-person and masked classes began, though, because it became a bit of a guessing game to figure out which of the people in your class were actually attractive and which ones just looked good with half of their face covered by a K95. Now that most colleges don’t require masks in class anymore, this guessing game has ended, and college kids of the future will have no idea what someone being Mask Hot means.

The Sunday Question

There was a long stretch of time where I’d wake up every Sunday morning with a pounding headache, a sore body, and thinking that death was coming for me at any minute. Actually, that still happens, but what also used to happen was me sitting in bed wondering whether I was hungover or going to have to be confined to my bedroom for two weeks. Spoiler alert: the cause was me being a complete degenerate for three nights, but the thought of spending two weeks in quarantine gave me more hangxiety than I ever had from just a regular Sunday.

Not Learning Anything

For the year or so that we were all on Zoom, it’s pretty well known that absolutely nothing got done academically, but for most of us, COVID gave us all-time high GPAs. All of our quizzes and tests were online, not a single person actually tried to the fullest extent during the Zoom semesters, and the best part: professors cared just as little as we did. And who could’ve expected any different? It was simply much easier to mute your mic and turn off your camera with an alarm set to wake you up when the class was about to end.

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Written by VinegarStrokes

Above average intelligence, below average weiner.

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