I spent the weekend in Baton Rouge with three of my coworkers. Since returning, many people keep asking me how the trip was, and the only response I’m able to come up with is that it was “just incredible,” because similar to an on-field interview with an athlete after he just won a national championship, it hasn’t all quite sunk in yet. It’s Wednesday afternoon and I’m sitting here still recalling memories from the trip.
We were invited to town by Bogie’s Bar, which I quickly realized is the most popular bar among LSU students. They paid our airfare, put us up in a hotel, took us out to dinner, and gave us game tickets to what turned out to be one of the best college football games of the year thus far. A lot of cool shit happened in the 50 hours we were in the drunkest state in the union. Here is what stood out the most, ranked:
You know your game tickets are no joke when they’re made of plastic and come with a cutout for a lanyard clip. You can’t have tickets like that and keep them hidden away in your pockets, just like you can’t have a pair of D-cups and wear a year-round sweater. Our videographer, Dylan (third on the right in the below photo), spent $30 for three lanyards when we entered the stadium. People needed to know.
I still can’t believe no one called me a chotch for wearing it to Bogie’s after the game. I was being a chotch. Someone should have called me a chotch.
What’s the best way to cap off an all-expenses-paid trip to Louisiana? Winning money at the casino. We all won money Sunday before flying home. That just doesn’t happen.
7. “Bitch, I’m From Louisiana”
Did everyone know about this song that emphatically informs everyone within earshot that you’re from Louisiana? Before last Friday, I had never heard this fucking obnoxious, but equally fucking catchy rap song. Then I heard it about 20 times while I was in Louisiana–including once as LSU took the field before the opening kickoff–and now I can’t get the fucker out of my head. It would be my anthem if I was from there.
6. The “Bear Fight”
Bogie’s has a featured shot called a “bear fight.” It’s three shots in one, actually. The memory of taking the shot is understandably hazy, but I think it’s an Irish car bomb followed by two other shots, both of which I couldn’t identify but recall being pretty strong. I don’t know why it’s called a bear fight or why the bear fight is a thing (or who the sick fuck is who invented it), but after being taunted all weekend by doubters who thought I couldn’t handle it, I’m happy to say I took it down–and kept it down. Dylan wasn’t so lucky. He lost the fight.
5. Club Seats In Tiger Stadium
Reference my Instagram photo at the top of this page. Mugsy, an owner of Bogie’s, gave us stadium club seats high atop Tiger Stadium, where we could look down on the poors who had to pay for food, and who couldn’t buy alcohol. There was a full bar and an open buffet. It was my first time trying crawfish boulettes, and I would legitimately fight a small child for a plate of them right now. All the food was great and the liquor drinks were aggressive.
4. Dinner At Chimes
Blackened gator: it made me wet.
3. The Campus And Town
It’s just an awesome place, and an absolute must-visit destination on game day for any college football fan.
2. The Game
The LSU-Ole Miss game was a standardly slow-paced, SEC defensive juggernaut battle for much of the game. Turnovers kept LSU from taking an early lead, then the defenses kept each opposing offense in check. In the end, the Tigers scored when they had to, then, with nine seconds left and the game hanging in the balance, Ole Miss opted to throw the ball down the field instead of attempting a 47-yard field goal to tie it up and go into overtime. Interception. LSU won, and we witnessed one hell of an upset. Then this happened.
1. The People
I’m lumping tailgating in with “the people,” because the people are why the tailgating in Baton Rouge is so incredible. This is going to sound cheesy and, frankly, I feel soft just saying it, but everyone in Baton Rouge treated us very, very well, and that is what stands out the most as I look back. Aside from Bogie’s treating us like kings, everyone we came across was welcoming, warm, quick to offer up a drink and food, and made sure we were being treated well. This was my fourth LSU tailgate, and it somehow keeps getting better. What an environment.
Big thanks to Bogie’s Bar, and thank you to everyone I met who made it his or her mission not to let me spend a sober minute in your town..