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The Fitness-Tracking Device That Shocks You If You Slack Off Is The Perfect Gift For Pledges

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Early morning PT runs are critical in the pledge development process. Nothing builds character like chugging a McDonald’s breakfast thrown in a blender followed by a 5K run with that one brother who ran cross-country in high school. But what are you to do about the stragglers who fall behind? Drive closely behind them in a golf cart and tell them you fucked their sisters? That’s one way to do it. But now there’s a new way to keep the early dad bod-adopters from slacking off.

The wearable fitness-tracking device Pavlok is the first of its kind to physically punish people who fail to meet the goals programmed into it through a phone app. If you’re late to the finish line at the top of the hill, the watch-like device will zap your ass with a painful electric burst.

The Pavlok can punish and humiliate people mentally, too. The device can be programmed to post degrading Facebook statuses (hopefully these will be more customizable than just “I missed the gym today”) and even start to give away your money.

The Pavlok is good for more than just PT, however. Strap one of these bad boys to a pledge, and he’ll be fifteen minutes early to every house cleaning session, pledge ride, and cigarette delivery.

The developers say the “habit-forming wristband” will be available sometime this year, so prepare to eat voltage, pledge bitches.

Image via YouTube

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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