======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
In the age of modern music, it’s pretty tough to claim that any artist is truly “overrated.” After all, one of the biggest genres today involves nothing more than a keyboard, mouse, and a grimy baseline that sounds like a receipt printer getting violated by the liquid metal guy in Terminator 2.
While few can deny that music today has degraded into a bastardized digital clusterfuck of its former self, there are a few acts out there with diehard fanbases that they simply don’t deserve. Their shows sell out week after week, and the fans don’t even realize that they’re paying over $100 just for the chance to get their eardrums punctured by the throbbing cocks of the label executives.
If you like one of these four bands, I’m not saying that you’re a terrible person. I’m just saying that you probably have terrible taste in music.
Dave Matthews Band
Dave Matthews is the patron saint of shitty bands that get more attention than they deserve. I can personally guarantee that half of the responses to this column will involve some kind of “Nah man, you’ve got to see him live to understand” statement. Newsflash, DMB faithful: the dude sounds like a walrus with downs syndrome on every single song. The only reason you like his music is because learning “Crash Into Me” on guitar inevitably led to your first hand job.
You guys might already know my stance on the whole EDM phenomenon, but I can still respect a few artists who actually dedicate time and effort to their craft. Skrillex is not one of those people. While other EDM acts use real musical principles in their work to some extent, it seems like Skrillex is on a one-man mission to ravage every shitty car stereo in the country. There is no amount of MDMA in the world that could make a Skrillex song NOT sound like the soundtrack of a cyborg themed porno.
Started on a Canadian soap opera, now we here? Good old Aubrey Graham, better known by his stage name, Drake, is probably the most overrated rapper to ever lay his tuneless seed upon your radio dial. It all started with the vaginally inclined “Best I Ever Had,” and since then it seems like every suburban white kid in the country is touting Drake as the second coming of Yeezus Christ. You might be Lil’ Wayne’s BFF, Aubrey, but you’re not fooling me.
Hold your horses, guys. Before you rush to the comments sections and your Twitter accounts to berate me, hear me out. I love me some Buffett, and there’s truly no one like him, but is his music really that great? Unless you’re waist deep in water with a cold beer in your hand, Jimmy’s music is actually pretty boring and uninspired. Buffett built an entire empire out of being lazy and drunk all the time, and he undoubtedly deserves our respect for what he’s accomplished. I’m just saying that it might be time to let the Parrothead craze die along with the 70-year-olds who still follow him on tour.