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The Frat Dictionary: Second Edition

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First Edition

To expose one’s testes and stretch the scrotal skin as wide as possible in a display of dominance over another male.
“He was all set for the redemption shot in pong, then I hit him with the batwing and he missed the table completely.”

1. An invitation to pledge a fraternity.
“He was a cool guy at rush, didn’t creep out any girls, so we threw him a bid.”
2. An expression of approval.
“Did you hear about that SEAL sniper who domed three terrorists with one shot?”
“That’s unreal. Fucking bid.”

Brozone Layer
The thin, atmospheric layer of chill surrounding the fraternity lifestyle that is slowly eroding due to Global Pussification.
“If we don’t stop burning pledges, the Brozone Layer will be gone by 2050.”

To throw raw egg and flour at someone who passes out early.
“Lucas passed out with his shoes on. It’s only fucking 10! I’m caking him.”

To play a video game in the NHL 2K series.
“Let’s get high and chell.”

Cunt Punt
To remove a female from a party.
“That chick tried to steal our composite and took a piss in the middle of the patio. Cunt Punt her onto the next pledge ride.”

High quality marijuana.
*cough* “Shit’s dank.”

To pull out during intercourse and position oneself to ejaculate on a female’s face.
“I overshot the divebomb, fell off the bed, and painted her carpet.”

A collective of Bigs and Littles in a fraternity, sometimes given a nickname based on the brothers’ common attributes.
“We call that family The Herdsmen — they all got a thing for fat chicks.”

Fat Chick Friday
On Friday night, put money in a hat. Whoever is seen hooking up with the most obese female wins the pot.
“It’s Fat Chick Friday, boys. Time to go hogging.”

An elderly alumni who still hangs out with the fraternity.
“That dude’s gotta be at least 80 and he’s killing it on the dance floor.”
“What a Fratasaurus Rex.”

An extended period of hanging out with brothers in which all real world responsibilities and inhibitions are thrown to the wind; an almost religious, fratty experience.
“We’re going camping for two days in the woods on a brothers-only retreat. It’s a Fratbatical.”

The vibe of a party or event being unmistakably fratty in nature.
“Ice luges, girls, pastels and pong. The fratmosphere in here is on point.”

To inject frat into an otherwise NF situation.
“The line at the usual bar was down the street, so twelve of us descended upon that hippy bar. It was total fratmosis.”

To masturbate in the back of a pickup truck and wipe yourself on a pair of crusty old Chubbies.
“This tailgate is starting to die down and I still haven’t gotten lucky. I’m gonna hop in the back of Matt’s F-150 and fratsturbate right quick.”

When you and a bunch of your frat bros go to Disney World and your Big Bro holds your hand on Space Mountain because it’s dark and you’re scared of the dark and he has your back no matter what.
“This Frattercoaster is super special because I can scream as loud as I want and you guys won’t judge me because we’re bros.”

When you command a pledge to remove his shirt, lie face down next to an open fire, and let you fry eggs on his back.
“These frattatas don’t need any salt because the pledge’s sweat seeped right into the egg.”

When the night’s plans shift suddenly due to an unanticipated and pleasant comeuppance.
“We were going to go to Sharky’s, but then we heard Pavlov’s had all-you-can drink liquor. It was a Gamechanger.”

Short for GDI (A Goddamn Independent); a person who is not affiliated with a Greek organization.
“Some Geed handed me a Bernie Sanders pamphlet so I ripped it in front of his face.”

1. To toss an empty beer can at a group of pledges and shout “GRENADE!” prompting one of them to dive on it.
2. In the northeast, an ugly girl who won’t let you hook up with her hot friend until she gets some attention, too.
“Pat is the best wingman ever. He took the grenade to blow up in the spare room, leaving Katy and I all alone.”

A person who exudes all things suck.
“I thought I was in the clear until some Jabroni raised his hand and reminded the professor we had homework due today.”

A necklace bearing Greek letters, worn by women. A longtime girlfriend of a brother who is a friend of the fraternity may be lavaliered.
“OMG Kevin lavaliered me! He said we’re totally getting married someday possibly!

Pledge Pack
A set of supplies a pledge must carry on his person at all times, as instructed by the chapter, to give to brothers if they need it; consists of essentials such as cigs, dip, condoms, Plan B, and random shit like a quarter from their home state.
“Make sure your pledge packs are fully stocked by Friday night. It’s gonna be a long one.”

Pledge Wall
A barrier made by pledges’ bodies to cover up the illegal acts of a brother, such as public urination.
“Pledge Wall, now. I gotta mix this drink before we go in the stadium.”

Sidewalk Slammer
Purchase a 40 ounce beer bottle, drink some, then funnel in a can of Four Loko. The name is derived from its street origins, where drinkers would smash the bottle on the sidewalk after consumption.
“I’m ready to crack some skulls and crush some puss after that sidewalk slammer.”
“Dude stop talking like that.”

To puncture a hole in the side of the can, crack the top, and inhale the contents through the hole; the ultimate test of male virility.
“Dude you got beer all over the ground on that shotgun. I guess you can still adopt someday, you sterile bitch.”

A female who you do the sex with on the regular; you share a mutual pact to keep things strictly physical. Slam for short.
“I think I have to drop my slam, she asked if I wanted to go to brunch on Sunday.”

A slampiece of exorbitant body mass.
“I wouldn’t hang out in the living room while — Mike’s room is directly above it and he’s with his slampig right now.

Someone who overcompensates for a lack of self-identity by attempting to ensure that every aspect of his life is fratty.
“Did this guy seriously just write an entire article about fratty words? What a fucking try-hard.”

Walk of Shame
When a female shacker emerges from the bedroom of a fraternity brother and must now walk out the front door, past the rest of the fraternity, which has now congregated in the living room to discuss the previous night’s events.
“We gave Nick’s slampig a standing ovation during her Walk of Shame this morning.”

Wall Burrito
To lift a sleeping brother’s mattress and slam it against the wall.
“Tuck ate my burrito last night so me and Rob made him into a Wall Burrito.”

Image via Shutterstock

* h/t PledgingSucks

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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