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The Greek Guide To Summer Vacation

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As Greeks, there are plenty of options for how we’ll spend our summer vacations, and almost none of them involve being responsible human beings. Even the ones that make your parents proud like “internships” or “taking summer classes to get ahead” end up being a clever means to maintain your debauched college lifestyle. (That’s right, debauched. You know that word! Congratulations, college boy. Now do a shot.)

The way I see it, you’ve got four options when summer vacation rolls around, and each one has their advantages. Make your choice wisely, but know that come July, you’ll be counting down the days until football season no matter what you do.

Summer School

What was once the worst possible way to spend your summer becomes a pretty attractive option once you hit your collegiate years. While you’re in no hurry to graduate, summer school is a good excuse to pad your stats, credit-wise. Take that History of Scrimshaw class you’ve had your eye on, or finally get certified in CPR for dogs. Then use your remaining 23 hours a day to party like it’s going out of style, much like scrimshaw did in the early 1900s with increased restrictions on whaling. (You’ll need to know that for the final.)

The bars are less crowded, the freshman are few and far between, and there are more drink specials available than there are students still around campus. If you don’t spend one summer on campus, you’re doing the whole college thing wrong.

Pros

-Less people = shorter lines at the bars

-Less clothes = better understanding of the student body

-Make up for all the classes you’ve failed and/or dropped

-Semi-abandoned campus feels like you’re in a zombie movie

Cons

-Many of your friends won’t be there

-Shit gets expensive

-Your liver won’t get a break

-Could possibly catch dog cooties from that CPR class

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StuffFratPeopleLike (@StuffFratsLike) is a writer for Total Frat Move, and due to his crippling OCD and functional alcoholism he can only understand and write text when presented in a numbered list format. So you’re all jerks for calling him out on it. He is a self described Huguenot, and commands a secret sexual fetish for angry internet comments.

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