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The ISU Police Department Is The Best Thing To Happen To Twitter Since Donald Trump

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Twitter is truly a gift from the gods. Nowhere else can I fully enrich my 300 plus followers’ lives with countless retweets from Total Frat Move and The New Jersey Devils while, at the same time, complaining about my existence?

I was recently blessed to get 280 characters and I’ve never felt more empowered. After all, you know what they say: With great power comes great responsibility.

On my endless Twitter browsing, I came across this tweet.

Just when I thought I’d seen the worst food mash up with pineapple and pizza, this unholy cross of cheese and pop tarts comes up. Since I’m not sexually attracted to corn or a hillbilly forsaken to be born there, I’ve never been to the state of Iowa, so I reached out to my chief Iowa correspondent to see if this is actual Iowa cuisine.

He confirmed that this culinary mishap that looks like something from an episode of Food Network Chopped gone wrong is not part of the daily Iowan diet. Thankfully the Iowa State University Police Department’s Twitter page had jokes for this crime against humanity.

Turns out this wasn’t the first time their Twitter page made me laugh. Go back just a few hours before and I find this gem.

Making fun of the campus vape pack, haha classic. Good looks on the comedy, Iowa State University Police Department.

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ItalianStallion

Previously known for being the 4th best improv comedian in the state of New Jersey, he enjoyed a brief career in politics by serving on his fraternity's eboard until a scandal not as bad as the Lewinsky scandal, but more memorable than Whitewater lead to his resignation. Now, he spends his time making God awful jokes in chapter meetings, rooting for a shitty New Jersey hockey team, and serving on the congressional committee set to determine whether Oprah Winfrey should be classified as a cult or a religion.

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