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The Kansas City Chiefs’ Shitty Team Killed This Old Man

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I have some unfortunate news to report out of Grandview, Missouri. Loren G. ‘Sam’ Lickteig, an Air Force veteran and former Grandview councilman, passed away on November 14, and Matt Cassel and the rest of the 1-9 Chiefs are shouldering some of the blame. His obituary lists the cause of death as “complications from MS and heartbreaking disappointment caused by the Kansas City Chiefs.”

Blood is on your hands, Cassel.

Lickteig’s daughter, Jennifer, said her dad was a longtime Chiefs fan.

“My dad was such a comedian,” she said. “He loved the Chiefs, so we had to let him have the last word. If we weren’t laughing, we’d be crying,” daughter Diana Hennessey said.

Anyone else wondering how an old timer named Loren G. Lickteig came to be known simply as Sam? There’s got to be a story behind that one. My guess is he went through a legendary “Samantha” phase in college, just bedding any Samantha that was fortunate enough to cross his path.

R.I.P., Sam. The misery you’ve endured waiting and hoping for Chiefs’ success is no more, sir. May you meet a million Samanthas in heaven.



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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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