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The Man Who Killed Osama bin Laden Is A GINGER

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This is a big day for our red-haired American brothers. No longer will you be tormented and treated as outcasts. The Navy SEAL who killed Osama bin Laden in 2011 has revealed himself. He’s Rob O’Neill from Montana. He is now your ginger overlord.

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I gotta say, the day of redemption has come for gingers worldwide.

O’Neill has participated in over 400 missions across the globe, including missions that were depicted in “Zero Dark Thirty” (duh), “Captain Phillips,” and “Lone Survivor.”

The 38-year-old also works as a motivational speaker and is one of the most decorated Navy SEALs in history, having been honored 52 times for his service. Since he’s going public, O’Neill is now unable to continue his career as a SEAL, but he’s still one bad dude. When asked if he was worried that ISIS is going to come after him and his family, O’Neill’s dad, Tom O’Neill, brushed it off casually, as if to say “He’s done that shit like a billion times, dude…”

“People are asking if we are worried that ISIS will come and get us because Rob is going public. I say I’ll paint a big target on my front door and say come and get us.’My ex-wife gave birth to a man. We shouldn’t be cowering in fear.”

Well said, Mr. O’Neill. Well said.

So, the next time you’re thinking about picking on that little ginger headed fuck on your way to class, just remember, that guy just might grow up to put a bullet in the dome of one of the evilest bastards to ever walk the face of the earth.

[via Daily Mail]

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The Champions Tour is a writer for Total Frat Move and Post Grad Problems. If you don't know who he is, just ask your older sister about him.

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