NEW TFM Videos Section

Watch thousands of hilarious videos from college campuses across the country.

Watch Now

The Morning Bump: Make It Rain

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====

Mornings are dog shit. You’re tired and hungover, but you have to get out of bed and do stuff, so you could use a little motivation. A little pick-me-up. A little morning bump, if you will. Well here you go, compadre. Put this metaphorical straw to your nose and snort.

Don’t Look Like A Bitch

English, motherfucker! Do you speak it? I assume yes since you have the ability to read it. That’s good. We’re off to a good start. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men — whatever that means. Regardless, badass clip from a badass movie that should get the blood flowing on this fine summer morning. Never fuck with Samuel L. Jackson.

Be Remembered

He just dropped an album for the first time in two-hundred years, so it just seems right to get down to some old school Dr. Dre right about meow. Sure, Dre wrote about as much of this song as Drake wrote “10 Bands,” but that’s neither here nor there. Just enjoy the goddamn jam, slap yourself a couple times, splash some cold water on your face, chug a water, and get your ass in the game.

Rock The World

That’s an ace right there, kids. Soak it in. Breath it in deep like it’s a fine glass of red wine and let the fumes intoxicate you. Now take a bite of cheese. That’s good shit, huh? Mmm real good. Sports!

Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying

You might be stuck in prison for a crime you didn’t commit, and maybe you’ll have to crawl through five-hundred yards of shit smelling foulness that you can’t even imagine just to get what you want, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’. That’s goddamn right. It’s go time.

Got something you think should be featured in The Morning Bump? Email it to me at

Email this to a friend

Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, host of the Back Door Cover podcast, Rockets, Astros and Texans internet mascot, cheese enchilada aficionado, nap god, 2017 Masters attendee, and Editor-in-Chief of Grandex Media.

4 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

The Feed