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The Movies And TV Shows To Watch To Ensure You’re Getting Laid

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Inviting a girl over to watch a movie is a move as old as moving pictures. It’s a mainstay because it works. A lady likes a sense of plausible deniability that she went over to your place at 2 a.m. for something other than just sex. Netflix ushered in a new age and an official term for the move. If you want to be blunt about your intentions to “chill,” you could just invite her over to a place like this. However, a more subtle approach is generally the most effective.

But what happens if she really just wants to watch a movie? How can you ensure that she’ll forget about what’s on the screen in favor of what’s under the blankets? Here’s a quick rundown of some of the best types of movies and TV shows to watch that will give you a smooth ride to pound town.

Romance Movie

Nothing gets a girl wetter than a Nicholas Sparks movie. Granted, some of that may be due to tears, but it still is a top pick for getting a girl to open her heart and her legs. After watching Rachel McAdams get her world rocked by Ryan Gosling for the hundredth time, she’ll be wishing she had some passion in her own life. That’s where you, your devilish good looks, and some smooth talking come in to make her feel like the sought after prize she kind of is. I mean, you are seeking her out to bang her after all. Only hardship in this case is that you’ll probably need to stick through the whole movie before making any moves. Really let the idea that she’s alone sink in and all you’ll have to do is reel her in.

Bonus points: Shed a tear and show her your emotional side, assuming you either have one or can fake one.

Action Movie

Action movies are a whole different game. The difficulty with these is getting a girl to agree to watch one in the first place. You’ll probably have to make some assurances that it’s not all violence and there’s supposed to be some really interesting characters, and you’ll have to be convincing, because we both know that’s not true. Once you’ve got the green light, you’ve just got to keep your eyes peeled for signs she’s bored: she offers to go grab snacks in the kitchen, starts looking through her phone, or actually starts falling asleep. Now that she’s bored, she’ll welcome the distraction of something more interesting to her than watching Scarlett Johansson look hotter than she ever will.

Bonus points: If she actually enjoys action movies, you can tell her how you totally remind her of some hot heroine and she’ll get all empowered and shit and potentially want to be on top.

TV Without Massive Plotlines

Think: The Office. While over the course of the entire series there are small plot points that together make a cohesive story, between each episode you don’t really need to watch them all to know what’s happening. Other examples include House, That 70s Show, and Friends. This works for much the same reasons as action movies: you can interrupt the Netflix and get to the chill. This works especially well if she’s seen the show before, but more on that below. It’s also worth mentioning that if you’re watching TV, you open yourself up to more than Netflix. Maybe you’re a Hulu or Amazon Prime kinda guy — no judgment.

Bonus points: Jump right back into Netflix until you guys fall asleep if you’re letting her shack up, which if it’s past midnight, you really should. You might just get some morning sex out of it.

TV She’s Already Seen

Bitches love feeling special. If she thinks she’s introducing you to your next favorite show, she’s gonna feel really special. While she’s feeling all important, she’ll also be watching your reactions to the first episode or two closely, so it’s imperative you give off some positive vibes. After she’s satisfied that you’ll forever associate this show with her, she’ll relax a little and then it’s your time to shine. Similar to the rest of our recommended viewings, this works because she’s already seen it all before and can take her eyes off the tube. If she gives you shit for not watching this show that’s so important to her, you can just reassure her that you’ll get to it when you don’t have more attractive things to look at.

Bonus points: Even if you’ve already seen the show before, play dumb and challenge yourself to laugh/react like it’s the first time you’re watching it.

Have fun, kids, and may your streaming be smooth and your pickup lines smoother.

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Not So Sweetheart

The most rational, reasonable, and riotous girl you'll ever meet.

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